| The facts about adoption keep changing. Changes | | | | faceless birth mothers became real people, still |
| occur not just in regulations and laws but even in the | | | | struggling with past decisions. So many of these |
| basics, such as how to talk with kids about adoption. | | | | babies were indeed 'wanted'--and deeply mourned. |
| Only eight short years ago there were a mere handful | | | | There is an American stereotype that the Chinese |
| of adoption books. As of Fall 2002, there were 1,450 | | | | don't value girls. Dr. Johnson challenges this notion, |
| adoption-related books listed on | | | | stating that "the Chinese love their girls....Girls are not |
| I am an adoption social worker. My career led me to | | | | readily abandoned. This is not the first step for |
| write about how to create life history books for | | | | families." She learned that families often go to great |
| adopted children. I am always on the lookout for new | | | | lengths by 'hiding' their daughters or paying huge fines |
| resources and stories, and the Internet has become a | | | | before turning to abandonment. It is seldom the first or |
| great place to look. | | | | even second oldest girl who is abandoned. |
| There, people can educate themselves at the speed | | | | She is also firm on the point that babies are |
| of light. Listservs and online groups are examples: You | | | | abandoned in China for a very clear reason. In a quiet |
| can type in whatever subject moves you, and instantly | | | | voice at Wide Horizon's Chinese Culture Day, she said |
| 'talk' with a group of people all interested in the same | | | | that birthparents "abandoned their daughter[s] not |
| thing. | | | | because they were poor or [because] the child would |
| My passion is adoption Lifebooks, the subject I write | | | | have a better life. The Chinese were afraid of their |
| about. I'll share a little: I was adopted at age 5 months, | | | | future[s] without the support of a son." |
| in the 1960s. Growing up in a closed adoption meant I | | | | Dr. Johnson asserts that Chinese birth parents are not |
| had no information: no best guesses, no discussion, no | | | | "brave" and do not have "no choice", as American |
| "I'll bet that..." Lifebook work comes naturally. | | | | adoptive parents sometimes surmise, but they do |
| On one listserv, , I heard about Dr. Kay Johnson. Dr. | | | | have great pressures placed on them. They are |
| Johnson is an expert on Chinese infant abandonment | | | | forced to make difficult decisions that cause |
| and adoption. In 1998 she and co-researchers Huang | | | | themselves and others great pain.Decisions they would |
| Banghan and Wang Liyao published the results of their | | | | not make if the Chinese government had different |
| research. | | | | rules. |
| In spring 2002, Dr. Johnson's research zipped all over | | | | What does this mean for Chinese girls adopted in the |
| the Internet. Due to copyright issues the study wasn't | | | | U.S.? According to Dr. Johnson's study, it is likely that |
| posted on mainstream adoption websites. I did | | | | they have at least sisters alive in China. |
| however get a copy of the 25-page report.It was | | | | When the facts are known, it is nonetheless difficult for |
| slow reading, but I realized the implications at once. I | | | | many adoptive parents to share sibling information. The |
| needed to know more. And I knew that adopted | | | | slightest possibility of having a brother or sister is critical |
| Chinese children would want to know more in years to | | | | information for the adopted person, however. And |
| come. It was their story. | | | | now we are learning from Dr. Johnson that siblings are |
| Thanks to the 'red thread' forces near me, I heard Dr. | | | | more than just a slim possibility. Remember, in her |
| Johnson speak just two weeks after I finished reading | | | | study, 82 percent of abandoned children have sisters |
| her study. She appeared at Wide Horizons for | | | | in China. |
| Children, a Massachusetts adoption agency only a | | | | The adoption story thus significantly changes for |
| short drive from my home. | | | | children adopted from China, from one about a |
| Dr. Johnson was willing to travel for hours in the rain on | | | | faceless birth mother leaving a baby in a park for |
| a Sunday to make this appearance because of her | | | | reasons unknown, to the likelihood of a two-parent |
| special connection to Wide Horizons. Shortly after | | | | rural family who were fearful for their own survival in |
| adopting her daughter in Wuhan, Dr. Johnson then | | | | old age. It is now a story of birth mothers still grieving |
| approached Vicki Peterson, Director of Wide Horizons | | | | and crying over the loss of their daughters, of birth |
| for Children, about starting a China Adoption program. | | | | parents pressured by the policies and rules of their |
| The rest is history. | | | | country. And now add older sisters into the picture, |
| A professor at Hampshire College in Massachusetts, | | | | living at home with their birth mothers and fathers. |
| Dr, Johnson says her motivation for the research was | | | | Corinne Rayburn, a widely respected adoption |
| to help her daughter. "I needed to find answers," she | | | | therapist of 25 years' standing, says that the sibling |
| said. The most difficult and challenging question was | | | | piece is important information: "The child's truth needs |
| "Why was I abandoned?" | | | | to held by the parents and told to the child." She adds, |
| Dr. Johnson is a scholar and knows more about China | | | | however, that for a young child, "telling a child that s/he |
| abandonment policy than anyone in this country. She | | | | might have a sibling could be more confusing than |
| confided to the packed auditorium that, when her | | | | helpful." |
| daughter was small, she "stuttered and stammered a | | | | This information must be shared with the child, but |
| lot" when trying to explain about adoption and | | | | presented when s/he is a little older, perhaps 9 or |
| abandonment. She disclosed that she used words like | | | | 10--but before the turbulence of adolescence. Ms. |
| possible, maybe, as far as we know, and the truth as I | | | | Rayburn believes that to tell a child aged 5 or 6 that s |
| know it, with lots of don't know's. Now that her | | | | he might have a sister translates into "I have a sister" in |
| daughter is older, Dr. Johnson is grateful that she | | | | the child's mind. Instead, the child needs to be old |
| "always shared the truth." | | | | enough to understand words like maybe and good |
| In her fieldwork, she and her colleagues were able to | | | | possibility. |
| obtain information from 237 families who abandoned | | | | It is vital that this information be shared by the |
| their children in the 1980s and 1990s. A short | | | | parent(s) once it will be understood, and not received |
| questionnaire and a small number of in-depth | | | | 'by accident' when the child is older. Ms. Rayburn |
| interviews were used in the study. The following are | | | | cautions that "you, the parent, do not want to be |
| the major findings:o Females represent 90 percent of | | | | viewed by your child as a person who avoids, omits, or |
| the children abandoned.o Birth order and the presence | | | | disguises their truth." |
| absence of a brother were "crucial in determining | | | | Each child's adoption story is a personal, unique tale. |
| which girls were abandoned."o Fully 82 percent of | | | | Adoption talk and Lifebooks are ways in which |
| these children have sisters.o Of children who were | | | | parents help their children understand their pasts. The |
| abandoned, 88 percent were from rural areas.o All the | | | | weaving of this new knowledge with the truths that |
| birth parents in the study were married except in three | | | | are known sets the foundation for trust, identity, and |
| cases.o In half the cases, the birth father made the | | | | feeling good about oneself in years to come. |
| decision; both parents made the decision in 40 percent | | | | Dr. Johnson supports Lifebooks and says that a |
| of the cases. | | | | "lifebook is invaluable...It helps you think through the |
| According to Dr. Johnson's report, "some birth mothers | | | | issues and carefully word them beforehand...once they |
| said they felt the loss of the child for many years, | | | | are on paper then the hard part is done..." |
| although most claimed to have gotten over it." One | | | | Dr. Johnson's journey has transformed the 'facts as |
| birth mother insisted that "time healed her wounds," but | | | | we know them' for thousands of adopted people. She |
| by the end of the interview she was overcome by | | | | has discovered another piece of the story, a found |
| tears and said that she never wanted to talk about | | | | fact that will eventually be common knowledge to |
| this again. | | | | Chinese Adoptees and to all of us. |
| The interviews revealed deep emotional suffering and | | | | This information is not going to be easy to share or |
| heartache among many Chinese birth mothers. After | | | | easy to live with. But when it is your story, what |
| reading the report, I felt suddenly that those nameless, | | | | matters is that it is the truth. |