| Are you a parent? Potential parent? Expecting | | | | morning? I'll give you a hint. It's corn flakes and you |
| parent? Do you ever read parenting books just to | | | | have ten minutes to finish eating. |
| celebrate the fact that you aren't a parent and still | | | | Need a handy reference for replacing common open |
| have your freedom? If so, you're going to love my | | | | ended questions with time saving imperative |
| new book, Kids You Can Count On. | | | | sentences? Look no further than page 119! |
| Kids You Can Count On is guaranteed to help you | | | | Television: Friend or Foe? |
| raise perfect children effortlessly. How can I make | | | | For years we let our kids watch television whenever |
| such a statement without biting my bottom lip until | | | | they wanted until one day, my wife and I tripped down |
| blood comes out? Simple! Every technique I used to | | | | a flight of stairs together, sustaining coma-inducing |
| raise my three beloved kids to become bright, happy, | | | | injuries. While we lay in a tangled heap on the floor, our |
| polite, and well-adjusted is not in the book. Why? | | | | children watched television until the power company |
| Because none of the techniques worked. My kids' | | | | turned off the electricity. Our lifeless bodies were finally |
| behavior had me drinking Maalox out of industrial sized | | | | discovered by our panic stricken children, who in spite |
| containers -- but the important thing is now I know | | | | of their harrowing ordeal had the presence of mind to |
| what went wrong! Now I get it! And that's what's in the | | | | call our neighbors and ask politely if they could watch |
| book. Why suffer years of frustration raising kids | | | | TV at their house. |
| through trial and error, when I've already done the | | | | Don't wait for a coma to get the wakeup call that your |
| suffering for you? | | | | kids are spending way too much time in front of the |
| Here are some sample insights and real life examples | | | | television. |
| from the book, guaranteed to save you time, reduce | | | | TV troubles in your home? Consult Chapter 9, From |
| stress and most importantly --raise the type of child | | | | Couch Potatoes to Planting Potatoes, includes simple |
| you'd admit was yours even if you weren't being | | | | two-step program for turning off the television and |
| interrogated by the police! | | | | turning on your kids ...to the simple pleasures of back |
| What I Learned About Teaching Respect for Adults: | | | | breaking yard work! |
| Never let your child call an adult by their first name. | | | | How to Slay the Birthday Party Goliath |
| Why? Because right from the beginning a child who | | | | I realized our children's birthday parties were getting out |
| refers to you by your first name believes she is your | | | | of line when one of the tigers, I can't remember now |
| equal, two days later she's convinced she's your | | | | whether it was Siegfried's or Roy's, pounced on my |
| superior and four days later, you're convinced she's | | | | mother-in-law during our daughter Cathy's first birthday |
| your superior. Here's an excerpt from a conversation | | | | celebration. Luckily Cathy wasn't traumatized by the |
| between my 44-year old babysitter, Katherine, and my | | | | event since she didn't wake up from her nap until |
| three-year old daughter Annie, who had been | | | | fifteen minutes after 224 of her closest friends and |
| encouraged to call Katherine by her first name. | | | | relatives headed for home. While there is no such thing |
| Katherine: Annie, honey, it's time for your nap. | | | | as debtor's prison anymore, my wife and I were so |
| Annie: I'm not sleepy, Kathy, but thanks for your | | | | deeply in hock from charging our children's birthday |
| concern. Would you be a dear and get me another | | | | bashes that the state legislature briefly discussed |
| juice box? | | | | opening a local debtor's prison just for us. Kids You |
| How to fix it so your kid never calls anyone by their | | | | Can Count On shows you how to say adios to |
| first name again? See page 43! | | | | $10,000 birthday party singalongs with Willie Nelson and |
| The Right Way to Communicate with Your Child: | | | | hello to $30 pizza parties! |
| Military philosophy may be "Don't ask. Don't tell," but for | | | | Can't make smores without flying Emeril Lagasse in |
| parents and kids it should be "Don't ask. Tell!" What | | | | for the weekend? Turn to Appendix II, Simple Dishes |
| happens when you stop giving your kids choices? You | | | | Even You Can Cook. |
| get your life back, that's what! Here's an excerpt from | | | | Testimonials Keep Pouring In! |
| a school day breakfast discussion between my | | | | Here's what parents who've read Kids You Can |
| children and my wife --before we knew any better: | | | | Count On have to say about my book: |
| Mother: What would you like for breakfast? | | | | "Since using the techniques outlined in your book, my |
| Annie: Bacon and eggs. | | | | children's behavior has improved so much friends stop |
| Jim: Pancakes with sausage. | | | | them on the street to ask if they've been adopted." -- |
| Cathy: Oatmeal. | | | | Terry K, Orlando, FL. |
| Mother: There's no time. You all took thirty-minute | | | | "My wife and I have adapted your time saving 'Don't |
| showers. How about cereal or toast? | | | | ask. Tell!' philosophy and the resulting peace and quiet |
| Annie: I want bacon and eggs. | | | | has been so rewarding, we've taken the philosophy |
| Jim: If we're not having pancakes then I don't want | | | | one step further by requiring our children to submit all |
| anything. | | | | questions to us in writing. Who would believe a home |
| Cathy: Cereal and toast! | | | | with five children could be more tranquil than a |
| Mother: Let me see what I can do. | | | | monastery?" -- Eddie Jondo, Lincoln, NE |
| A smart lawyer never asks a question in a courtroom | | | | The Offer You'd Be a Fool to Pass Up! |
| without already knowing the answer. Conversations | | | | I'm so convinced that Kids You Can Count On is the |
| with children should be handled no differently. Here's an | | | | only book you'll need to keep your kids in line, I've |
| excerpt from a school day breakfast discussion | | | | raised the price from $29.99 to $39.99. Order today |
| between my wife and children after she read Chapter | | | | and I'll even throw in my award winning pamphlet for |
| 6, How to Say "I'm Only Saying This Once" and Mean | | | | kids, "You're the Reason Why Santa Isn't Coming This |
| It: | | | | Year." Operators are standing by... |
| Mother: What would you like for breakfast this | | | | |