| Good manners are the backbone of a civilized society | | | | parenting - it forces you to grow as a person. |
| and make interacting with people a joy. Manners also | | | | Let's look at how modelling and repetition work. When |
| create a strong first impression, and they pave the | | | | your child is a baby you begin saying "Give the spoon |
| way to good jobs, smooth relations with family and | | | | to mommy, please. Thank you, Sweety." |
| friends, and an easier time out in the real world. The | | | | If your child wants to do something like help buckle |
| lesson here? Make it a priority to teach your children | | | | himself into a carseat or help you chop vegetables or |
| the manners suggested below before they turn | | | | even picks something off the floor, be sure to say, |
| thirteen. | | | | "Thank you for helping mommy. I really appreciate |
| Here are some basic manners you might want to | | | | that." You need to find every opportunity possible to |
| consider: | | | | say a meaningful please and a heart felt thank you. |
| General: | | | | Another great tip is that when your child says "thank |
| 1. Saying "Please" and "Thank you" should be as | | | | you" or "please", be sure to tell someone about it in |
| automatic as breathing. | | | | front of your child. He/She doesn't need to be a part |
| 2. Teach your children to apologize when they've done | | | | of the discussion, but even if they are in the general |
| something wrong. ("What do you say to Matthew?" | | | | vicinity, you can bet they will hear and truly feel proud |
| gives freedom for sincere expression rather than the | | | | of themselves. |
| rote "Tell Matthew you're sorry.") | | | | I like to retell the day to my husband as we eat dinner. I |
| 3. When your kids receive a gift, teach then to write a | | | | use this time to throw in those special compliments like, |
| thank-you note. | | | | "Emre and I went to the grocery store today and |
| Introductions: | | | | when the cashier lady gave him some playing cards |
| 1. Teach your kids how to make a proper introduction: | | | | he said a big "Thank You!" to her. I was very proud of |
| "Mom, I'd like you to meet my friend Laura." | | | | him. Then my husband would say, "Wow, that's our |
| 2. Children should stand when meeting or greeting an | | | | boy. Good for you, Emre". |
| adult. | | | | When your child grows older and you have dinner |
| 3. Teach kids to introduce themselves. They can start | | | | guests coming over, speak to him or her beforehand |
| with their friends' parents. "Hi, Mrs.Beatty. My name is | | | | about how you greet people when guests come to |
| Maria." | | | | your house. For example: |
| 4. A handshake is proper upon introduction. Kissing is | | | | "Jenny, dad and I would like to talk to you for a minute. |
| generally for relatives and close friends, and it's their | | | | Come meet us in our bedroom. Tonight Mr. and Mrs. |
| prerogative if your children don't want to be kissed. | | | | Richardson are coming over for dinner. So, when they |
| Teach then to politely avoid the kiss rather than to | | | | ring the door bell, dad and I expect you to come to the |
| grimace or say "Yuck." | | | | door with us to greet them. When we greet someone |
| 5. "It's nice to meet you," is impressive coming from a | | | | we say, "Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Jenny." and then |
| child, so go ahead and teach it. | | | | shake their hand. |
| Visits: | | | | After this explanation, show what you mean by doing |
| 1. At the end of your child's visit to a friend's house, he | | | | an example with your husband. Teach your child which |
| should make a special point of thanking his friend's | | | | hand to use and which hand to shake. Get them to |
| parents. | | | | practice and then say, "Well done. That was very |
| Conversation: | | | | polite. Thanks, Jenny." |
| 1. Turn the TV off or mute the sound during a | | | | Remember, the most powerful teacher is modeling. If |
| conversation. | | | | your child sees and hears you and your husband doing |
| 2. "What?" or "Huh?" are unacceptable forms of the | | | | and saying things over and over again, that is what |
| much more polite "Pardon?" or "What did you say?" | | | | becomes their normal. They just simply know that in |
| 3. Don't allow your kids to say "Shut up" to anyone. | | | | this circumstance this is said, and in this other |
| Teaching manners is actually quite simple, but it | | | | circumstance that is said. |
| requires two things: repetition and modelling. You as the | | | | It's always much simpler to establish good manners |
| parent must model these manners always. It is not | | | | than it is to break bad ones, so start modeling early |
| okay for you to expect your children to say and do | | | | and praise often. Then, be prepared to hear what a |
| them but you yell "What???" up the stairs to your | | | | delightful child you have over and over again. |
| husband, wife or child. This is the part I love about good | | | | |