| Do you often read about new parenting tools and | | | | my positive parenting program. |
| effective ways to communicate with kids and you're | | | | - RULE 1: Practice only one new behavior at a time. |
| all gung ho for a day or two and then fall off from | | | | Start by picking just one new parenting tool or |
| using them? | | | | communication skill to practice. Once you get good at |
| Or maybe you have great intentions but just never get | | | | that one and really have it down, then move on to the |
| around to trying them out? | | | | next one. |
| Well, I have the answer for you... | | | | - RULE 2: Try the New Behavior at Least Three |
| Let's say you have a new parenting tool, like getting | | | | Times. New behaviors usually feel awkward and |
| your children's attention in a calm, nonthreatening way | | | | uncomfortable and most people give up before they |
| before you try to get them to listen to you. | | | | get started. And wait to decide if any new behavior is |
| In order to for effective parenting tools to help you | | | | effective until AFTER you've tried it at least 3 times. I'd |
| with your kids, you'll need to develop the parenting skills | | | | go as far as say it may take even longer than that |
| you need to use those tools. It's too easy to just read | | | | with some kids, so just look for some positive change, |
| about them or hear about them and NOT practice | | | | even if it is slight. While with others, you'll see a |
| them consistently when raising children. | | | | difference in children's behavior and your relationship |
| Let's face it. Many of us in this culture weren't raised in | | | | right away. |
| a healthy way we want to pass on to our kids, so we | | | | - Rule 3: Quantity before Quality. In other words, don't |
| don't have a good frame of reference for doing | | | | try to do it perfectly. Just do it. Don't worry about doing |
| what's best for them. | | | | it smoothly or if there's a better way to say it. That will |
| We're just not used to communicating with children in | | | | just get in the way of learning effective parenting skills. |
| this way. And we don't see many others talking to kids | | | | You can count on this...Do the new behavior enough |
| like this either. | | | | and the quality will take care of itself. |
| So we need to practice moving away from what we | | | | - RULE 4: Practice in Safe Situations. This probably |
| don't want and what we know doesn't work and | | | | means you want to wait until you feel confident before |
| move towards what does work to get the results we | | | | you try them out in front of your mother-in-law, your |
| want in our families. | | | | mother or the little old lady down the street who likes |
| Let me ask you... | | | | to give unsolicited advice. |
| Have you ever heard that old joke where the tourist | | | | Go ahead and imagine your children listening to you the |
| asks the cab driver: "How do you get to Carnegie | | | | first time you say something to them. |
| Hall?" And the cab driver answers, "Practice, Practice, | | | | You would enjoy parenting a lot more, right? You'd |
| Practice." | | | | also feel a lot more confident, if you didn't have to yell |
| Well, that's what it takes to raise well-mannered and | | | | at them for them to hear you. And I'd bet your child |
| successful kids and to enjoy parenting--learning and | | | | would cooperate and smile a lot more, too. |
| practicing new parenting skills. | | | | So right now, lets move into action and get going. |
| And that's what will rid of your doubt and insecurity | | | | Here's what to do to dramatically and easily improve |
| about your children's future and your ability to parent. | | | | your parenting skills. |
| I'm not going to kid you, it can be tedious and | | | | |
| frustrating at times. But you will be rewarded with | | | | 1. Pick one new behavior to practice, like getting your |
| more and more confidence as you get better at them. | | | | child's attention in a calm, nonthreatening manner. |
| Remember, these are all SKILLS and can be learned. | | | | 2. Do it, do it, do it. Lots. |
| I took Author Neil Rackman's Four Golden Rules for | | | | 3. Don't give up too soon. |
| simply and easily learning and applying new business | | | | 4. Move on to the next Parenting Tool. |
| skills from his book Spin Selling and adapted them to | | | | |