| Child discipline issues can be tough to deal with. I want | | | | nearly 11pm by this time. Now here's the stupid thing: I |
| to share something that happened at my house last | | | | knew that it would do absolutely nothing by me going |
| night because I think it might be able to help a few | | | | back out to him. He had made a decision to stay up |
| parents. Now Sam is 14 years old. He was watching | | | | late and watch the television but I just felt the need to |
| television and it was after 10pm. I don't have a curfew | | | | let him know that I was watching him. How dumb is |
| for bed time for my teenagers during the week, but I | | | | that? |
| was getting a bit frustrated as I knew that my son | | | | OK, so was child discipline actually necessary here? I |
| would have great difficulty getting up in the morning for | | | | think I did the wrong thing by harassing my teenager. I |
| school. | | | | sat down beside Sam and said to him, "darling, the only |
| I was pondering in mind whether I should discipline this | | | | reason I want you to go to bed is that I am worried |
| child or whether I should just leave him alone. It was a | | | | you won't be able to get up on time for school |
| tough choice. Of course a child should not be allowed | | | | tomorrow. Do you understand that?" Sam said "yes |
| up too late at night when they had school the next | | | | Mum, don't worry. I'll get up for school in time". So I left it |
| day. So I had every right to instigate some child | | | | at that and went to bed. |
| discipline, right? | | | | I realised that I has wasted my time worrying about |
| I gave him a subtle reminder about the time but Sam | | | | Sam when he was very capable of taking care of |
| didn't seem too interested in what I was saying. I hung | | | | himself. I should have backed off and let him learn from |
| around him for a while and his older brother went off | | | | his experience. As it was, Sam slept in for an extra |
| to bed. I thought about just turning the television off and | | | | half an hour but was still out the door in time for school. |
| saying to Sam "please go to bed now". How easy | | | | No problem. |
| would that be? But I really wanted my son to think | | | | Now Sam could have slept in and been late for school. |
| about the consequences of his actions and make his | | | | And that would have been OK as well. If that had |
| choices accordingly. So I waited for a little bit longer... | | | | happened, Sam would have learned something from |
| It was 10.40pm and I couldn't stay up any longer. I said | | | | the process. Sometimes we actually need to let our |
| to Sam "good night" and off I went. Sam said to me | | | | kids make mistakes so that they can learn things in life. |
| "OK, I'll go to bed now too". I was relieved and jumped | | | | If Sam had been late for school, they would have held |
| into bed. I lay in bed for a minute or two and saw the | | | | him accountable for his actions and he would have |
| bedroom light go off in Sam's room. I was pleased that | | | | received a detention. |
| Sam had taken my advice but to my dismay five | | | | Parents, sometimes it is better to let our kids learn |
| minutes later, when Sam thought I was asleep, he | | | | from the consequences of their actions. This was one |
| turned the television back on and started watching it | | | | of those occasions and I should have stepped back |
| again. OK, what do I do now? | | | | and let Sam figure it out for himself. When we allow |
| I got out of bed and walked into the lounge. "What are | | | | our kids to learn from their mistakes, child discipline |
| you doing?" I said to him. I don't know why I did that. I | | | | becomes much easier and parenting becomes more |
| was just surprised that he turned it on again. It was | | | | fun. |