| Raising children is stressful enough. Raising children and | | | | course load and class frequency, I usually paid $25 per |
| attending college is almost unthinkable, but it is possible. I | | | | week for child care when my family was unavailable. If |
| had a 3-month-old daughter and 1-year-old son when I | | | | there is no program like this in your community, create |
| decided to go back to school and complete my first | | | | one. This is a valuable asset for single mothers. |
| masters degree. Money was scarce and I was nursing | | | | Do not over look teenage family members and |
| my daughter who refused to drink from bottles. | | | | neighbors who are mature and responsible. |
| Fortunately, my then husband and mother could baby | | | | 3. In planning your curriculum, try not to overload your |
| sit nearly all the time. | | | | schedule with difficult or demanding classes. Mix |
| After completing my first masters degree, my husband | | | | difficult classes with easy ones or independent studies |
| and I divorced, I began working full-time as a social | | | | (courses you arrange to study with a professor |
| worker and attended graduate school full-time as a | | | | outside the classroom. The meetings are arranges by |
| doctoral student. My children were 3 and 4 years old, | | | | the professor and student). |
| and it was difficult caring for them, working, and going | | | | 4. As a parent of young children who are frequently |
| to school at the same time. Consequently, it was | | | | sick with minor colds, pink eye, ear infections, etc.., you |
| imperative for me to simplify my life. My mother | | | | do not have the luxury of procrastinating. Look at your |
| begged me to drop out of school. She said, "Sandy | | | | syllabi for all of your classes and mark the due dates |
| those colleges are made of brick and stone and they | | | | for of all your projects, exams, quizzes research |
| will exist when you are dead and gone, but your | | | | papers, and presentations. Give yourself a new due |
| children will all be small for a short period in your life. Go | | | | date that is one to two weeks in advance of your |
| back to school when your children are in school | | | | professors due date. Work diligently on your projects |
| full-time." | | | | as if your date is the real date that assignments are |
| I contemplated my mother's advice. The only problem | | | | due. When you finish early keep the assignment in a |
| was that I was earning twenty one thousand dollars a | | | | folder. This strategy was my saving grace as a single |
| year with a masters degree as a social worker. I was | | | | mother and full-time employee and graduate student. In |
| struggling to make ends meet and sleeping with a | | | | the event that you can not find child care or your child |
| married man 38 years my senior. I hated myself and | | | | becomes ill, you are on top of your game. |
| my financial situation. I prayed to God to give me a sign | | | | 5. Utilize your time appropriately. How does one |
| or suggestion of whether or not I should drop out of | | | | manage to work and go to school full-time: Personally, I |
| graduate school. The next day in my Saturday, | | | | was not in the habit of coming home and turning on |
| morning Educational Sociology class the professor | | | | the television or getting on the telephone. If you have a |
| was late and a fellow classmate and I struck up a | | | | favorite show, watch it, but don't idle in front of the TV. |
| conversation about our family, school and work | | | | Schedule time on Saturday and Sunday to chit-chat |
| schedule. | | | | with family and friends. Don't forget to pencil in time for |
| The class mate was a dark complexioned, | | | | yourself and your children. |
| middle-aged, African American woman, who physically | | | | 6. Sleep when the children are asleep, study when the |
| reminded me of myself. I told her what my mother had | | | | children are playing, contentedly. I studied for many |
| said about dropping out of school until my children | | | | exams while nursing my baby. Determine who and |
| were older and that I was seriously thinking about | | | | what is important to you and delete the excess from |
| quitting graduate school. The class mate told me, "I | | | | your life. |
| disagree with your mother, but the decision is yours. I | | | | 7. Organize your home to accommodate your lifestyle. |
| think it is best to remain in school while your children | | | | I wanted my home to look chick, but it wasn't |
| are young because all they need is a dry pamper, | | | | convenient for me. Put blankets, toys, potties and any |
| food, love and someone to play with them. It doesn't | | | | other items in the living room where you can watch |
| always have to be you to fill their needs. When | | | | the children and study. Buy comfortable, inexpensive |
| children are young their needs are simple. Your children | | | | clothes that do not require ironing or dry cleaning. |
| will need you more as they get older because they will | | | | 8. Cook one pot meals for the week, and order pizza |
| be involved in more activities and their lives will | | | | on the weekend. Plan your meals ahead of time and |
| become more complex. Your children aren't going to | | | | cook enough for leftovers. |
| remember who changed their pamper; but they will | | | | 9. Fix your hair in an easy-to-care-for, low maintenance |
| never forget or forgive you for not being present for | | | | style such as a ponytail or short hairdo. |
| dance recitals, little league games or their first school | | | | 10. Pick one day during the week to clean up and do |
| play." | | | | laundry. When you finish using something, put it away |
| I never saw this woman again but because of her, I | | | | immediately. This habit will save you tons of work |
| decided to remain in school. I am very close to both of | | | | down the road. I learned this the hard way. Don't do |
| my children and I was able to take my daughter to | | | | unnecessary chores especially during crunch time. |
| ballet and my son to his martial arts class. I am grateful | | | | 11. Learn to prioritize based on long-term goals. |
| that I have the resources to take care of myself and | | | | Studying for major exams and preparing research |
| my children. | | | | papers can be grueling. It goes without saying; attend |
| Here are tips that can help you accomplish your | | | | to the needs of your children first.a. Always do |
| educational goal. These tips allowed me to complete | | | | something physical with your children such as taking |
| two master degrees and a doctorate while maintaining | | | | them to the park, running around outside, making |
| most of my sanity. | | | | snowmen or sand castles, going for a walk, or playing |
| WARNING: This is not going to be an easy task. Most | | | | a game. Spending quality one-on-one time with your |
| days, you will be exhausted, on the verge of break | | | | children has three purposes: one, it will alleviate any |
| down and wanting to give up. Undoubtedly, you will cry | | | | guilty feelings of not being a good parent when you |
| yourself to sleep some nights. But if you are | | | | are studying; two, it is physically and psychologically |
| passionate about getting an education, there is light at | | | | healthy for your child; and three, your child is more likely |
| the end of the tunnel. | | | | to give you the time you need when they feel loved |
| 1. Failing to plan is planning to fail. First and foremost | | | | and secure that there needs are being met. |
| develop a plan. Before entering college, talk to an | | | | 12. When possible take the children with you to the |
| academic advisor, find out exactly what classes you | | | | library to do light research. Pack activities, a blanket |
| will need to complete your education, when the | | | | and healthy snacks in a duffel bag. Sit in an area that |
| classes will be offered, roughly how long it will take you | | | | is "noisy" or isolated from others. |
| to graduate as a full-time or part-time student. Obtain | | | | 13. The greatest gift that any mother can give her child |
| information about deadline for financial aid and the | | | | is her own happiness. Don't let your children be your |
| contact name of any person who is qualified to help | | | | excuse for not making your dreams come true. Let |
| you fill out the forms. Once you have mapped out | | | | them be your inspiration and be a role model to them |
| your strategy, you are ready to seek out other | | | | of how to make their own dreams come true. |
| resources among family and friends. | | | | 14. Do whatever you have to do to complete your |
| 2. Locate a baby-sitter who is reliable, but obtain | | | | education. Pace yourself. Stay focused. Every chapter, |
| backup nevertheless. Seek out other mothers at the | | | | test and assignment completed draws you closer to |
| college. Compare schedules. Develop a plan to watch | | | | your goal. Yes, indeed, there is a light at the end of the |
| each other's children during classes. | | | | tunnel. The big picture is overwhelming, but bear in mind, |
| Locate a drop-in day care where you pay an hourly | | | | the big picture is made up of tiny accomplishments. |
| fee for each child. The fee for my two children | | | | Accomplish your goal one step at a time. Know that it |
| together ranged from $6 to $8 an hour. Based on my | | | | is possible. |