| Children begin to learn about choices at a very early | | | | was a positive one and they saw the movie. Most |
| age. We are teaching them how to make decisions | | | | important, however, was that she learned to give |
| when we ask them questions such as: | | | | reasons why or why not this would be a good choice, |
| Do you want cheerios or raisin bran? | | | | and he learned that he needed to be more careful |
| Do you want orange juice or grape juice? | | | | about not stereotyping her gender. It was a win/win |
| Do you want to play with the blocks or the puzzle? | | | | situation that brought them even closer. |
| When children are small, we limit the choices we give | | | | As your children mature, it is still advisable to limit their |
| them and we instinctively know that too many choices | | | | choices to ones that are acceptable to you. Safety, |
| can be overwhelming to them. When we limit the | | | | resources and time involved in their activities will limit |
| number of choices we give them, and make sure that | | | | some choices out of necessity. When you ask them |
| the choices we give them are all acceptable to us, we | | | | what sports activity they want to be involved in they |
| are allowing them to make choices that are safe for | | | | assume you mean what you say. If there are limited |
| them. It also begins to build their confidence in making | | | | choices they can make it is better to limit the choices |
| decisions. | | | | to ones they can actually make, such as do you want |
| What we seem to forget as they are growing up is to | | | | to take music or dance, play piano or violin, play |
| continue to give them choices where the options we | | | | baseball or basketball, if these are choices they can |
| give them are acceptable to us. If they do want to | | | | make. Otherwise you are setting them up. I once |
| make a choice that you are hesitant about, ask them | | | | worked with a mother who told her teenager that it |
| to give you the reasons why they would like to make | | | | was her way or the highway and was surprised when |
| that choice. This experience will help them learn to | | | | the child ran away. She may not have been into |
| assert themselves which is a very valuable skill as | | | | choices but her daughter was! |
| they move into their teens. They also just might have | | | | As children mature they will begin to see what options |
| a logical reason why they want to make that choice. | | | | and choices they have and be able to evaluate them |
| Assertion is not about getting what you want; it's about | | | | in a way that will help them make better decisions as |
| asking for what you want and the chances of getting | | | | they journey through their teen-age and adult stages. |
| what you want goes up when you ask for it. Teach | | | | We cannot expect our children to make good |
| them to ask in an appropriate way and then listen to | | | | decisions as they grow up if they have not had any |
| them. | | | | experience doing so, and experienced the results of |
| I know a dad who was spending the day with his 13 | | | | the decisions they have made. When a decision has |
| year old daughter. They decided to go to the movies | | | | not produced the results they wanted, it provides a |
| and she wanted to see Transformers. His reaction | | | | great opportunity to discuss with them what happened |
| was that he did not think it was suitable for her. Her | | | | and what different choices they may make in the |
| reply was would he take her if she was a boy. When | | | | future. |
| he realized that he would, his reaction to her choice | | | | |