| Although we were raised in the same household, my | | | | if I let this get out of control I am able to step back and |
| brother and I had very different childhoods. Sometimes | | | | let the kids try. If they do need help I will be right there |
| I have to remind myself of this when I get frustrated | | | | to guide them, and they know that. But I know that |
| with him. I feel like as an adult he should be able to | | | | guidance is all they truly need. I am committed to raising |
| take care of himself, pay bills, and be responsible and | | | | capable responsible adults. |
| respectful. The problem is that he was not only | | | | Sometimes the children make this harder, as they can |
| enabled throughout childhood, but is continuing to be | | | | intuitively sense my impulse to jump in. I cannot count |
| coddled by our mother and other relatives. As sad as | | | | the number of times I've heard them ask, "Help please, |
| it is for him, this fact gives me more ability to be a | | | | Mommy," and I have to remind them that they know |
| mother in such a way that prevents my children from | | | | how to accomplish the task at hand. I am convinced |
| being doomed to be dependent as an adult. | | | | by at least ensuring that they attempt things |
| It's a very common situation. Parents want to take | | | | themselves and know that they are capable I am |
| care of their children, it's a natural impulse. But it seems | | | | empowering them to feel strong and capable for the |
| like many mothers misunderstand what it truly means | | | | rest of their lives. |
| to raise their children. You can't expect a child that has | | | | As parents used to tell their children on a regular basis, |
| never had any responsibilities to grow into a | | | | I won't always be around to take care of my kids. |
| responsible adult. Mothers especially fall into this trap. It | | | | There may even be a time in the future that I need |
| is a vicious cycle, really. They feel like their child can't | | | | them to care for me. Regardless, I know it is my |
| do something so they do it for him, but by not allowing | | | | priority to raise capable children, ones that are |
| him to try he never learns. The child that learns how to | | | | contributing members of society. In order to contribute, |
| take care of himself feels empowered while the one | | | | they need to first be able to care for themselves. By |
| that is taken care of feels incapable. | | | | allowing them to face life's daily challenges head-on |
| There will be times parenting that I fall into this trap, I'm | | | | while I whisper encouragement in their ear seems the |
| sure. As a mother it is natural instinct to care for and | | | | best way to help them grow to meet this expectation I |
| nurture my children, I want to make them comfortable | | | | have set for them. One thing is for sure: my children |
| and happy. By remaining conscious of what will happen | | | | are not enabled. |