| Building kids self esteem through praise is one of the | | | | "How did you do that? It looks like all the practicing |
| best tools parents have. Correct? Not necessarily. If | | | | you've been doing lately has really paid off." (Action) |
| you use excessive, or insincere praise you may find it's | | | | "I could tell you waited until just the right moment to hit |
| not the best way to raise self esteem over the long | | | | that ball." (Good Judgment) |
| haul. | | | | Now the child will think differently about himself. |
| Actually, "over the top" or "insincere compliments" can | | | | "If I keep practicing, perhaps I can hit a few more |
| produce the opposite results. | | | | home runs this year." |
| For example: Your son just hit a home run, and you | | | | "Boy, I've been working hard on my hitting and it's paid |
| praise him by saying, "You are the best player on the | | | | off. I wonder when the coach is going to call another |
| team!" He may smile and be pleased for a moment or | | | | batting practice? |
| two, but self doubt and questioning will eventually | | | | My six year old grand daughter has a natural ability |
| creep in. | | | | toward art. She's very creative. In fact, she really is |
| "Does everyone else in the stands feel the same | | | | outstanding. We have to be careful about how she's |
| way? | | | | approached about her natural gift. |
| "What happens when I can't hit a home run again. | | | | Instead of saying, "You are the best artist," her parents |
| What will my folks think then?" | | | | give compliments using the "Action and Judgment |
| "They know I'm not the best player on the team and | | | | Praise" parenting method. Self confidence is then built |
| so does everyone else." | | | | upon her effort and judgment and not her natural |
| "Jimmy hit five home runs this season and I've only hit | | | | ability. |
| one." | | | | "I can see you've really put a lot of attention to detail in |
| "It was just a one time deal... and I'm not sure I can do it | | | | you drawing." (Action) |
| again. | | | | "I really love the colors you used to make the sunset." |
| When your child does well, it's best to commend them | | | | (Good Judgment) |
| by using a parenting technique I call, "Action and | | | | Try using the "Action and Judgment Praise" parenting |
| Judgment Praise." Praise their actions and judgement, | | | | technique with your fantastic kids and see if it doesn't |
| not who they are. | | | | make a difference in their self-confidence and esteem. |