| If you've read any of my previous articles on | | | | Eating a "formal" dinner every night is not feasible and |
| fatherhood, I mention that I am a huge proponent of | | | | also not necessarily the best solution. Casual dining is |
| teaching infants sign language. One of the wonderful | | | | important as well. One way to handle this is to |
| side benefits of sign language is verbal manners. | | | | designate one night a week where the family sits |
| "Please" and "thank you" are integral signs that are | | | | down to a "formal" meal. During this meal, all good, |
| easily learned before a child begins to talk. My wife | | | | "formal" manners are to be observed. Children love |
| and I taught our daughter to sign "please" whenever | | | | this. They often volunteer to set the table with cloth |
| she asked for something and sign "thank you" once | | | | napkins and forks, spoons and knives. Breaking out the |
| she received it. This was happening between six and | | | | fine china if you have any will also inspire them to "buy |
| twelve months old. | | | | into" formal dining. By making it fun, and making it a |
| By the time she began to talk, saying please and thank | | | | consistent occurrence, they learn something valuable |
| you were second nature to her. Even now, at three | | | | without feeling like they are in school. |
| years old. her "please" and especially her "thank you" | | | | During casual meals, you must agree on what is |
| are vibrant and full of feeling. She doesn't plead | | | | relaxed from the formal meal. If you practice this, I think |
| "pleeease" like many children. She simply asks politely, | | | | you will find your children, your wife and yourself |
| and is most often rewarded for her efforts. Yes, there | | | | looking forward to the "formal" meal. Teaching the |
| are times when we must say no, and sometimes she | | | | respectful titles of "sir" and "ma'am" are critically |
| will get an attitude, but that is another issue altogether. | | | | important to your children. This begins in the home. By |
| At one point before she could talk, my daughter got | | | | teaching your children to address anyone older than |
| stubborn about saying please and thank you. I was | | | | themselves to say "yes sir" or "yes ma'am", you are |
| amazed that even though she was not yet speaking, | | | | handing them a ticket to a higher level of social |
| she could know enough to balk at manners just like | | | | prominence. By speaking with respect to others - |
| her older, speaking siblings. As parents, we resolved to | | | | strangers, potential employers, potential friends and |
| deny anything that was not asked for properly and in | | | | acquaintances - you give them a leg up in life. Too |
| short order, the stubborn resistance faded away. | | | | many of their peers will not have been taught how to |
| Manners are something to be modeled, and many | | | | properly address others. When you speak with |
| fathers struggle in this area. As dads, we often want | | | | respect, you teach the other person to treat you with |
| the dinner table to be more lighthearted and relaxed. | | | | respect. This one manner alone is invaluable in life. |
| Formal dining habits are not as high on our agenda as | | | | Fathers should lead the way in the area of good |
| they should be. Again, we can be tough and say "do | | | | manners. By doing so, children grow up with tools that |
| as I say, not as I do", but this has a very limited effect | | | | will serve them in countless ways, all of them good. |
| and helps to encourage rebelliousness in children. | | | | Take the time as a father to give your children a great |
| When you set a double standard, you send poor | | | | start on life. Begin early in their lives and stick with it. |
| messages to your children. | | | | |