End Power-Struggles - Teaching Children Healthy Self-Empowerment - Part 1

Sometimes children seem to intentionally, and oftenappropriate, respectful boundaries in relationships. The
very cleverly, contrive to take our power. As if theychild's capacity to reason becomes either stifled or
are addicted to our energy or view us as a mereconfused (making the child more susceptible to
instrument or extension of their will to get what theydangerous denial, which lies at the root of addiction
want just because they want it, they draw upon ourlater in life). The child may fail to develop the inner
energy with incessant, nagging demands andresourcefulness for healthy and independent
unreasonable non-cooperation (particularly when weself-reliance. Albeit unintentionally, we set the child up to
already feel utterly taxed, as if they can sense oursuffer the painful consequences of weak self-control
weakness and vulnerability). They seem, in theseand a false feeling of need to dominate others. This
instances, to unconsciously believe they are still in themeans more self-centered demands made by the
womb subsisting on mother's substance when it is timechild upon you and more assaults on your energy.
to be more self-reliant and independent.When children incessantly demand your attention,
What we parents need to understand when thisdeliberately behave in ways that they expect will
occurs is that the child is moving through a normal,bother you, make unreasonable or impossible
necessary and natural developmental stage thatdemands, argue irrationally, appear to intentionally treat
usually peeks around the age of 6 years old, when theanother child in a cruel manner when they know your
child is transitioning out of babyhood and learning towatchin, fall into emotional breakdowns "at the drop of
express her power through reasoning (includinga hat", behave outrageously in public, leave their mess
negotiating). If handled properly by the parent, the childbehind and blame it on someone else, or relate with
learns how to reason more realistically. The child alsoyou as a lowly lackey rather than as one worthy of
learns how to relate with his own power and itstheir utmost respect, the challenge can feel utterly
limitations in a healthy and constructive way. In theoverwhelming, particularly after a long day of giving
process, the child learns how to respectfully consideryour professional job or your relationship with your child
the needs, interests and limitations of others, includingeverything you have.
you.These sorts of behavior express the child's call for
We blow the opportunity that this challenge presentsyour support in helping him deal with the limits of his
to us when we take it too personally, from a lack ofpower and with the needs and limitations of others.
understanding of inner child development. We thenThe parent's job here is to gradually teach the child
permit our frustration and resentment to drive us intothat we are not mere appendages of the child to be
blind reactions that hinder rather than help the childused, but rather individual human beings to be related
develop healthy self-empowerment and the sense ofwith considerately and respectfully.