| Effective parenting skills are displayed clearly through a | | | | However, those kinds of promises are out of our |
| consistent parenting approach. | | | | hands to make, and life's experience has shown me |
| * Do your children whine and grizzle? | | | | that my greatest grief has often provided my greatest |
| * Are you a push over and easily manipulated by | | | | understanding also. |
| them? | | | | The consistent approach would be to promise to |
| * Do you walk on egg shells around your children in | | | | stand alongside your child through any difficulties they |
| order to maintain peace? | | | | will face, to help them handle the pain in the strongest |
| * How often do you give in after saying no? | | | | possible way, and to enable them to learn the best |
| * Are you in charge or do your children run your | | | | lessons as they encounter harm. |
| household? | | | | Effective Parenting Skills - Be consistent in yourself |
| Clear, firm, consistent parenting is quality parenting. I | | | | By being consistent yourself, you learn to trust your |
| believe being a consistent parent is both vitally | | | | own responses and your children are surrounded by |
| important and totally necessary to ensure a happy | | | | your loving constancy. |
| family life. Children learn best by being given clear, firm | | | | Be consistent with discipline - |
| and consistent directions from parents who are clear, | | | | It is about making a decision and then sticking to it. It is |
| firm and consistent in their approach. | | | | about understanding clear guidelines, and carrying out |
| What is consistent parenting? | | | | enabling behaviour. |
| To be consistent is to be reliable, dependable and | | | | To begin with it can seem quite time consuming to |
| constant. These words immediately convey comfort | | | | concentrate on clear, firm, consistent guidelines if this is |
| don't they? | | | | a new approach for you. Be aware that this is very |
| Being reliable means that you can be trusted. When I | | | | true. It takes concentrated effort and time to change |
| think of the people I can trust, the first thought that | | | | old habits to new ones, but if you maintain consistency, |
| comes to mind is that I know if they say they will do | | | | you will be very surprised how quickly new patterns of |
| something, they will do it. If they say they will be on | | | | behaviour can be formed. |
| time they are on time. I have every confidence in my | | | | When your children know that they can trust you and |
| expectations of them. | | | | take you at your word, they no longer attempt to |
| Is this how you want to be seen by your children? Is | | | | manipulate you. They trust instead that it is pointless. |
| this how you would like to see your children become? | | | | Your direction is clear, fair and firm and they know that |
| Being dependable means that you are steady and | | | | you will be consistent. |
| responsible. Aren't these the values you would like | | | | Effective Parenting -Think first before saying no |
| your children to learn from you? | | | | You will have to mean it and not change your mind. It is |
| Being constant means to be stable, regular and even in | | | | always better to tell the truth by saying I'm not sure |
| your approach. Doesn't this engender comfort and | | | | just at this moment than to be seen as a push over |
| safety in your thinking? | | | | later. |
| Let's look at the opposite of being consistent | | | | However, in age appropriate situations, it is also more |
| Contradictory, unpredictable, changeable. | | | | enabling to say Let's talk about this together, or What |
| That's definitely lacking in comfort and safety in my | | | | do you think about it? |
| opinion. Unfortunately it is also the way of a lot of | | | | * The consistent approach is concerned with enabling |
| parenting these days. No parent intends this to be their | | | | our children, rather than doing things for them. |
| patterned approach, and all first time parents would | | | | * The consistent approach is concerned with keeping |
| deny that they would approach their parenting in this | | | | communication open. |
| way, but it is a more common approach than being | | | | * The consistent approach is not afraid to take a firm, |
| consistent. | | | | fair, stance when it is appropriate. |
| Effective Parenting Skills - Don't try to be more than a | | | | This allows your children to be children. |
| parent | | | | Effective Parenting Skills - Be the parent |
| Often caring parents contradict themselves by making | | | | I am a firm believer that although I am my children's |
| too many promises, and by trying to be more than just | | | | friend, I am their parent first and foremost. This is |
| parents to their child. | | | | certainly a most valuable stance throughout the |
| All of us gaze at our newborn's beauty and declare | | | | stormy teenage years. |
| that we will do anything to shelter them from harm, | | | | I encourage you as a parent to look at your own |
| pain and life's difficulties. Yes, I know from experience | | | | behaviour and ascertain where it would be best for |
| that I would want to bear the pain for my children, | | | | you to become more consistent in your approach. |
| rather than have them go through it. | | | | Seek help if you need to. |