| Parents the world over are in a constant search for | | | | children on reading their own emotional states, and |
| the education that can lead them to the most effective | | | | controlling their responses - to choose a response that |
| parenting. Skills that can appropriately discipline our | | | | is not merely the easiest or most instinctive, but one |
| children, not merely punish them, are the pinnacle of | | | | that will be effective. Parenting skills that focus on |
| parental achievement; we're constantly seeking the | | | | simply calling emotions "bad" or "negative" do little to |
| best and most effective parenting skills. | | | | help with this; the correct and proper behavior needs |
| It's important to understand, in that search, what | | | | to be encouraged. |
| exactly we mean by "effective." Parenting skills that | | | | Building on this foundation, as children become older, |
| worked in previous generations are not always | | | | they'll need to understand problem solving techniques |
| appropriate to the modern child; the newspapers are | | | | to make their own decisions. Effective parenting skills |
| full of advice, from columnists and reporters alike, who | | | | are measured not by how well they control the child's |
| tell us which new and improved methods will work | | | | behavior, but how well they educate that child in the |
| best with our children. | | | | skills necessary to enter adulthood. |
| But in the end, the most effective parenting skills are | | | | While teenage angst has become a cottage industry in |
| not anything new - because children, no matter how | | | | and of itself, from the "emo" movement to the "goth" |
| much the world changes, are still more or less the | | | | and "punk" subcultures, most true dissatisfaction with |
| same as they have always been... and rather than | | | | teenage life comes from a lack of problem solving |
| develop skills at parenting our children, the true aim is to | | | | skills - and teaching them is one of the more effective |
| teach skills to the children themselves. | | | | parenting skills you can develop. |
| One of the earliest skills our children should develop is | | | | Once you've developed the effective parenting skills |
| the ability to read social situations. This can be made | | | | that can teach your child to read social situations, |
| into a game; magazines, newspapers, and television | | | | understand their own emotional states, and solve their |
| shows can be used to teach children when people | | | | own problems... parenting rapidly becomes a joy, rather |
| look happy or sad, tired or angry. | | | | than a chore. Children are remarkably good at, well, |
| As children grow, failure to read social situations can | | | | being good - if they have the skills to deal with the |
| lead to difficulty in getting along with others, or - worse | | | | world around them. |
| - to hanging around with "the wrong crowd." Our | | | | Children have honestly not changed much over the |
| collections of effective parenting skills need to include | | | | last several centuries. For all the discussion of |
| this practice, of teaching our children to read others' | | | | effective parenting skills in the new millennium, the |
| emotions. | | | | children are ultimately still the same... and will probably |
| The second step from this position is to educate our | | | | be the same for generations to come. |