| Even if they are looking for an argument or are being | | | | our emotions are under control. I'll even go so far as to |
| staunch about their request, do not fall into the trap of | | | | say conversations with our teenagers will only get out |
| arguing with your teenager! Things will get out of | | | | of control if WE'RE not controlling ourselves. |
| control if we are not controlling ourselves and our | | | | Teens know how to push our buttons, although be |
| parenting. And at the end of the day, whether we | | | | aware that sometimes it's not intentional. Most teens in |
| enjoy it or not, we are continually role-modelling good | | | | fact actually NEED us to be good examples and |
| behaviour; the type of behaviour we want our children | | | | would be the first to be disappointed if we let them |
| to emulate, especially later on when THEY become | | | | down with similar behaviour to their own; as unfair as |
| parents. | | | | that sounds! But they'll only push our buttons if we |
| Ask that their perspective be a reasonable one! That | | | | allow that to happen. |
| after-all, is what they expect from us. We can not | | | | Remain calm as adults should do when having a |
| control the thoughts and actions of our troubled teens | | | | difference of opinion with someone. This is the only |
| but we do have the right to expect a reasonable | | | | way to settle any potentially volatile situation. |
| perspective with all our interaction. The skills they will | | | | Our teens have enough pressure, frustration and |
| require to develop this, they will learn as we guide and | | | | communication issues at school and with their peers. |
| lead them with patience, love and mutual respect. | | | | Teenage-hood is fraught with stress (at school, with |
| If their perspective is not reasonable and in fact is | | | | friends), melodrama and some unhealthy habits (poor |
| actually quite unreasonable, tell them you need time to | | | | diet, smoking, drugs and alcohol). |
| think about what they have said because now we | | | | Make home a place where they know how things are |
| need to consider OUR perspective. | | | | and why! It's a place where there's a lot of love, |
| Do not lose your temper and start yelling when dealing | | | | support and rewards. Consistency and lots of fun will |
| with teenagers because more than likely your | | | | help get you through their teenage-hood. |
| teenager is going to end up yelling back at you. | | | | We need to make our teen's life a whole lot better by |
| Parenting teens requires us to be far more effective | | | | showing them that we care a great deal about them, |
| and responsible than that! | | | | and providing a warm, loving respectful home. If we |
| Look at getting back to them in the morning if | | | | can try hard to minimize the stresses and anxiety in |
| communication between you is becoming strained. If | | | | their lives, this will greatly contribute towards alleviating |
| we are struggling to control ourselves or if in fact we | | | | the home of unwanted tension and problems. |
| are actually instigating or encouraging the problem by | | | | The less tension and problems in our teenager's life, |
| being aggressive and defiant, it is imperative we | | | | the less reason they have to argue, struggle and fight |
| remove ourselves from the situation and return when | | | | with us. And that's got to be a good thing! |