| Teaching your child discipline is all about two things; | | | | priorities that you want to instill in your child? Make |
| Consistency and Clearly defined priorities. Both of | | | | every single interaction with your child count; they |
| these foundations for discipline must come from the | | | | should know that you love them and exactly what is |
| parents or other prominent adult figures in your child's | | | | expected of them. |
| life. In other words, developing discipline in children is a | | | | Consistency is made up of 3 separate components: |
| family responsibility and will require an effort on | | | | schedule, punishments, and rewards. The first is |
| everybody's behalf. Your child's behavior will not | | | | schedule: the younger your child is, the more important |
| change, unless your behavior changes. | | | | it is that they do the same thing, at the same time, |
| Most parents have only a vague idea of what their | | | | every day. This lays the foundation for expectation |
| child's priorities should be. Before approaching your child | | | | and is absolutely essential for a child's development. |
| to begin the process of teaching discipline or changing | | | | Even extra-curricular activities such as martial arts or |
| their behavior, sit down with your spouse and any | | | | music lessons should have a daily schedule element. |
| other adults that frequently interact with your child, and | | | | For example, if your child is taking piano lessons on |
| clearly write out what you believe your child's priorities | | | | Mondays and Wednesday at 4pm, make sure that |
| should be, in order of importance. Make sure that | | | | they also practice their piano on their own (or with you) |
| everyone is on the same page; if the adults in your | | | | Tuesday s, Thursdays, and Fridays at 4pm. |
| child's life have different sets of expectations; your | | | | The second piece of consistency is punishment and |
| child is likely to be both confused and ultimately hurt. | | | | reward. Key behaviors need an immediate and |
| Your priority list needs to be short, simple, and as | | | | expected reward or punishment. Every time you do A, |
| adults you must commit not to change it for at least a | | | | B happens immediately. If you don't use the same set |
| year. (An example might be: 1-Moral Character. 2- | | | | of rewards or punishments your child won't learn, |
| Grades in School. 3- Keeping your room clean.) If your | | | | likewise if you don't reward or punish immediately, your |
| child is under the age of 7, then you must limit your list | | | | child won't learn. |
| to 3 priorities. If your child is over 7 then you may | | | | Once these 2 things are in place: Clear priorities and |
| increase your list of priorities to as many as 5. Never, | | | | Consistency of schedule, punishment, and reward: then |
| ever expect any person regardless of age or | | | | and only then can you begin to look for improvement |
| intelligence to consciously track more than 5 priorities, | | | | and ask more of your child. After you have |
| this leads to confusion and ultimately poor results in all | | | | established the structure for your child's discipline, the |
| of the priorities. | | | | process becomes one of getting your child to adhere |
| Even if you are crystal clear in your own mind about | | | | to this structure and priorities with less and less |
| what your child's priorities must be, it is still possible that | | | | supervision from adults. This will bring your child to |
| your child isn't receiving a clear picture from you. | | | | embody the true definition of discipline: knowing what |
| Imagine that your interactions with your child will make | | | | needs to be done, and doing then doing it when it |
| a movie or a story told in the third person. If you only | | | | needs to be done. Surrounding your child with other |
| took video clips of your interactions with your kid, | | | | kids who already are disciplined will help tremendously, |
| would a casual observer be able to paste those clips | | | | but only after the initial ground work has been |
| together and clearly and accurately identify the | | | | established. |