| If you or anyone you know wants to end a marriage | | | | and help with parenting plans when needed. The |
| with minimal emotional damage to the family, I suggest | | | | neutral facilitator, trained to assist in managing emotions |
| serious consideration of collaborative divorce. A simple | | | | helps the team move towards the goal of the best |
| explanation of collaborative divorce is: "A highly | | | | outcomes for the family. |
| structured process in which to express and resolve | | | | This role is typically filled by a Licensed Professional |
| conflict without going to court". | | | | Counselor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, or |
| There are a number of sources of more thorough | | | | Licensed Master or Clinical Social Worker experienced |
| explanations of collaborative divorce and a list of local | | | | with children and families. Many of us who fill this role |
| attorneys, mental health professionals and financial | | | | are also trained as mediators. We bring our many |
| professionals. My intention is to give information about | | | | years of training and all our skills into a whole new role |
| what Texas collaborative professionals call "The | | | | aimed at minimizing the negative effects of divorce |
| Texas Model" of collaborative divorce. Texas | | | | and helping the parties restructure their lives in the best |
| collaborative professionals are dedicated and available | | | | way possible. |
| to assist divorcing couples to successfully restructure | | | | The use of a neutral financial professional is also |
| their lives, so as to minimize the potential negative | | | | beneficial. They help the couple understand their assets |
| effects of divorce. | | | | and debts and provide them with such information as |
| We are seeing more positive outcomes for families | | | | tax advantages or disadvantages of various |
| with the "Texas Model". This model uses a team | | | | settlement options. They also assist the couple to |
| approach allowing divorcing couples to negotiate | | | | gather and organize financial information, prepare |
| acceptable agreements based on information that is | | | | needed financial documents, and assist in negotiation |
| freely exchanged between them without going to | | | | for financial outcomes that meet the needs of both the |
| court, while still having the benefit of their own attorney | | | | husband and wife. This role is often filled by a financial |
| (legal advocate). | | | | professional such as a CPA or certified divorce |
| One beneficial provisions of "The Texas Model" is the | | | | financial analyst. The neutral professionals are joined |
| use of a neutral mental health professional, who steps | | | | together with the traditional players, the attorneys, to |
| out of the therapist role and takes on the role of a | | | | make up the entire team. |
| neutral facilitator. Another advantage of this model is | | | | Collaborative divorce attorneys are transformed from |
| the use of a neutral financial professional, who helps | | | | being "warriors" to being problems solvers. While each |
| the couple understand their financial assets and | | | | of the attorneys acts as an advocate of their |
| liabilities, as well as any tax advantages or | | | | respective client giving them legal information, they |
| disadvantages that may result from their settlement | | | | understand the importance of working toward |
| options. | | | | achieving both parties' goals. Each spouse usually |
| Attorneys, neutral mental health professionals, and | | | | meets individually with their own attorney between the |
| neutral financial professionals are specially trained in the | | | | structured "joint" meetings with the whole team, to |
| collaborative team approach and strive to use their | | | | discuss what they think is important at the time. The |
| specific knowledge and training to help the divorcing | | | | joint meetings are usually about two hours in length |
| couple to reach the best result considering their unique | | | | and are structured and agenda driven. The agenda is |
| situation. | | | | usually prepared and circulated to the team and the |
| Divorcing couples and their children are affected in | | | | parties before each meeting and helps to keep |
| three main ways: emotionally, financially, and legally. To | | | | everyone working in an efficient and productive |
| relieve these pressures an attorney, who advocates | | | | manner. Another tool used in this process is the |
| for each spouse, teams up with the neutral | | | | minutes for each meeting. The minutes includes such |
| professionals. The family benefits not only from the | | | | information as; what was discussed and "action items" |
| skills and knowledge of each team member, but also | | | | (those actions to be done by each participant between |
| from the synergy of the team. In addition, because | | | | meetings). |
| financial and mental health professionals are neutral, | | | | The "Texas Model" is used and promoted by a |
| the mind-set goes from "his side" versus "her side" to | | | | growing number of divorce attorneys. If you are |
| "us versus the problem". The acronym for TEAM | | | | planning on divorcing and want to consider a "Texas |
| (Together Everyone Achieves More) truly applies to | | | | Model" of collaborative divorce, information about |
| this model. A more detailed description of each team | | | | collaborative divorce and the team model can be |
| member's role helps us understand the benefit of the | | | | found on the above mentioned web sites, and there |
| team approach. | | | | are many articles and books written on the subject. |
| Part of the role of the neutral facilitator, also called | | | | After reading about collaborative divorce, I suggest |
| divorce coach or communication specialist is to help | | | | interviewing one or more family law attorneys |
| every one in the process communicate more | | | | specifically trained in the interdisciplinary (team) model |
| effectively, help manage the understandable emotions | | | | of collaborative divorce. |
| that come up during the divorce, facilitate negotiations, | | | | |