| One of the children problems that many parents ask is | | | | things like, "Why can't you be more like your sister / |
| how to handle sibling rivalry. It is fast becoming an issue | | | | brother?" Such statements will only succeed in |
| of concern because parents do not wish to see their | | | | damaging your child's self-esteem. It is best that you |
| children fighting practically every day! However, the | | | | encourage your children to develop into their own |
| good news is that this is a problem that can be | | | | unique selves. |
| corrected. | | | | One other way in which sibling rivalry can occur is for |
| First and foremost, you need to understand why does | | | | one child to find a way to get the other child in trouble. |
| sibling rivalry occur? Usually, jealousy and | | | | This may be accomplished when a jealous child |
| competitiveness take place among brothers and | | | | decides to "tattle" on the other in the event that other |
| sisters because a number of different changes have | | | | child has done something that is considered wrong in |
| occurred. | | | | one or both of the parent's eyes. |
| A very common change is when another brother or | | | | In some circumstances, some children will even make |
| sister has come into the family and the initial only child | | | | up lies about a brother or sister, especially if the |
| in the family will feel that he is losing attention from his | | | | favored child who can "do no wrong" in a parent's |
| parents and everyone else around him. | | | | eyes will believe the lies told. This is true in a case |
| Another cause of competitiveness between brothers | | | | when parents do not discipline fairly in a household. |
| and sisters is the feeling that he or she is not the | | | | Such children problems as sibling rivalry can have |
| favored child-that one or both parents' love one of the | | | | either a negative or positive effect on the child, |
| children more than the others. | | | | depending on how the parents resolve the issue. It can |
| When any of the above scenarios occur, the affected | | | | be seen as children's first step towards learning how |
| child will feel the need to compete for their parents' | | | | to resolve conflict on their own. Parents can help by |
| attention and that marks the start of sibling rivalry. | | | | teaching children how to resolve the conflict but it is |
| Such competition can be seen in deeds committed by | | | | crucial not to take sides. |
| the children and those deeds can be good or bad | | | | In fact, it is recommended that parents do not |
| deeds. | | | | intervene in every single little "battle" that your children |
| The main objective of the child is to gain attention from | | | | may have. It is important to let them learn to work out |
| the parents so to a child, it does not matter even if the | | | | conflicts on their own. If you allow them to develop |
| parents scold him as any kind of attention is better | | | | healthy conflict-resolution styles chances are they will |
| than none! A child who does good most of the time will | | | | develop mature friendships and relationships when |
| receive attention from his parents, and so will a child | | | | they are older. |
| that does "bad" things most of the time. The reason a | | | | At the same time, it is also important for parents to |
| "good" child chooses to always strive for positive | | | | ensure that your children do not abuse one another by |
| approval is because those children may only feel loved | | | | name calling or hitting. It is more important to encourage |
| when a parent notices something good he or she has | | | | your children to learn how to get along with one |
| done. | | | | another and to forgive one another when there is a |
| Similarly, the "bad" child does "bad" things in order to | | | | conflict. |
| receive the love and attention from a parent that often | | | | A good way in which you can handle sibling rivalry |
| accompanies discipline. To a child, negative attention | | | | among your children is to love them for who they are |
| often seems better than no attention at all, which is | | | | and to show them equal amount of attention. It might |
| often the reason why certain children will act out. So, | | | | not be possible for you to treat each of them the |
| as parents, we have to be careful not to show too | | | | same but you have to be fair when enforcing rules. Be |
| much negative attention on our children. | | | | consistent when applying discipline and over time, you |
| In addition, it is also crucial that as parents, you do not | | | | will notice this headache-causing children problem going |
| compare your children. Never allow yourself to say | | | | away. |