Children and Discipline - How Smacking Can Damage Self-Esteem - Part 1

In every child born there are a multitude of seeds allworks, but there are countless studies that have
waiting to be nurtured and watered eventuallyproven that it does not work and is in fact harmful in a
sprouting roots and emerging from their fertile soil. Ifnumber of ways.
we nurture the seeds of love, faith, non-violence,Jacques Prevert wrote, "The road to hell is paved with
compassion and honesty, these attributes will growgood intentions".
strong and in abundance however, if the seeds ofWhen we smack our children, our intentions may be
hate, jealously, intolerance, violence, fear and envy aregood, but they are not educated, they are not wise
watered they too will bear fruit.and they make no sense at all. They are based on our
As parents we are responsible for developing a child'sown fear and conditioning and until we really explore
view of the world around them. The view we createour reasons why we choose to hit our children, nothing
for them, will likely follow them through the course ofwill change.
their lifetime. We can help them to develop a view ofWe believe unconsciously; therefore we choose
a world of possibilities, abundance and magnificent andunconsciously.
we can also create a view of an antagonistic worldIf we argued that children who are not smacked
where fear, unhappiness and anger predominate.become out of control and anti-social, we must also
Gandhi said "Even if I am a minority of one - the truthacknowledge, that if recent polls suggest, that 94% of
is the truth". And the truth I know is that when weparents smack their children, then only 6% of children
smack our children, when we use violence of any kind,should be unruly. Is that true? If smacking worked, then
for whatever reason, however we may try to justify ityou should only ever need to smack your
in our own minds, we not only damage the preciouschild...what...three or four times, and then they would not
bonds of love and trust with our children we damagemisbehave. Is that true?
their pride and self esteem and sow the seeds ofPermissiveness can also be unwise and
violence, fear, intolerance and anger.counterproductive. The wise parent establishes a safe
Our whole way of thinking about children and how weenvironment with age-appropriate boundaries and
commonly raise and discipline them, must bereasonable conventions, models desirable behaviours,
addressed and changed, from the inside out, if weand appeals to and cultivates the child's natural
want our world to change.inclination toward imitation and cooperation. This
What is a "safe" smack? I know, without a shadow ofmethod takes more skill and patience than hitting, but it
a doubt, that there is no such thing as a safe smack. Ifworks, and it works for the long term.
you believe that smacking is an effective and safeIt also serves to strengthen the bonds of trust
way to discipline your children and that what I ambetween parent and child, between teacher and
saying is a load of crap, then I ask only that you take alearner, thus paving the way for the more challenging
moment to listen. Really listen.lessons ahead.
Violence, hate, fear greed, and war are the order ofChildren should never receive less protection than
the day. If we cannot change our own deeply ingrainedadults. We must put an end to adult justification of
habits of thinking, feeling, sensing and acting, that gaveviolence against children, whether accepted as
birth to the problems we face, they will again be'tradition' or disguised as 'discipline'. A child is a fully
recreated in short order.fledged human being deserving of the same rights and
We MUST understand that smacking does not causeprotection as any other member of society.
children to internalize any moral or ethical messages,Any form of corporal punishment or 'smacking' is a
nor does it encourage them to cherish freedom,violent attack upon another human being's integrity.
embrace life and find meaning.This ends Part 1 of this article. Please be sure to read
To date there has been no-one who has been able toPart 2.
offer any viable evidence, that corporal punishment