| When step parenting, it's important to take the child | | | | outside the family) negative comments about their |
| custody issues into consideration. Acknowledging and | | | | mom or dad. While it's true that a step parent may see |
| dealing with the custody situation can make step | | | | the shortcomings of the other parent regarding the |
| parenting easier. It can help parents relate better to the | | | | children, they shouldn't point those out or demean the |
| children, have more realistic expectations, and can help | | | | parent. This will make the child resent the step parent |
| the step parent and the spouse have a better | | | | and can inhibit the relationship. |
| relationship. Here are some guidelines for how step | | | | In step parenting, the relationship between the new |
| parents should handle child custody. | | | | parent and the children takes time to develop. It's best |
| The first general custody guideline is to not try to | | | | to just accept this and go with the flow. Don't try to |
| make the child's other parent an enemy. It can be very | | | | replace the other parent, and don't take is personally if |
| easy for a step parent to see all of the ways that | | | | the children don't respond to you immediately. |
| their spouse's ex has been a problem. The new | | | | Understand that the children may feel torn between |
| spouse may not understand why their spouse seems | | | | the parents and they don't want to be disloyal. Work |
| to always give in to the ex. If the new spouse is | | | | with the kids to make them feel comfortable and |
| constantly nagging at their partner and demanding that | | | | familiar with you. You shouldn't take any verbal abuse |
| things change regarding the custody, it can cause | | | | from them, or ill behavior, (and if this is happening you |
| tension in the marriage. As hard as it may be, the new | | | | need to immediately talk to your spouse and work out |
| spouse should try to be understanding and work with | | | | a solution to the problem) but understand if they don't |
| their partner about the issues. It's vital to listen to the | | | | always run to your arms to tell you the latest news. |
| explanations and offer constructive ways to help | | | | These are some of the child custody guidelines that |
| things change. | | | | can help a step parent adjust to the new role. Of |
| Along with working with the spouse about the ex, a | | | | course, every situation is different so you need to be |
| step parent should never try to make the other parent | | | | creative to think up answers to problems that come |
| an enemy to the children. The bonds between parents | | | | up. If you are constantly trying to make things work, |
| and children are strong and the children will not like | | | | the odds are that things will work out. |
| hearing (especially from someone they consider | | | | |