| Today, as I was walking my dog, I passed my niece's | | | | having trouble? Because they know from years |
| high school where the students park their cars. I saw a | | | | experience what they get away with, with you. With |
| shiny new black sports car with a license plate rim with | | | | their boss, he or she doesn't have an emotional |
| something to this effect: I SAW. I WANTED. I THREW | | | | attachment like you. If the teen gives them lip, the teen |
| A FIT. I GOT IT. (without the periods of course) Now I | | | | could very well be out of a job. |
| immediately thought the rim was a joke. But then I | | | | So if you're a parent of a defiant or noncompliant teen, |
| rethought this. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe the teen that | | | | grit your teeth and set limits. But set the limits when |
| owned that car did drive his or her parent(s) crazy until | | | | you're both calm. This is important for you as the |
| he or she got it. And maybe this teenager has been | | | | parent. You need to be in control mentally to be in |
| doing this for years. | | | | control of a situation. So do not threaten your teen |
| Maybe since the teen was young he or she knew if | | | | with XYZ in a fit of anger. Think of a time when you |
| they made a big enough fuss that at some point their | | | | saw someone yelling at someone else in total outrage. |
| parent would give in. Perhaps the parent figured it was | | | | They do not look cool and composed. They look |
| just easier to give in. Or he or she didn't want to feel | | | | frustrated. |
| like a bad parent. Kids are smart. They can learn to | | | | A rebellious teen who wants something would rather |
| manipulate you. "Dad, you can afford it! Why can't I | | | | have their parent frustrated, not calm. A calm parent |
| have it?! GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON!" The | | | | looks more in control. And less likely to give in. If you |
| parent could have five good reasons. And the father | | | | really plan to start setting limits today with your teen, |
| might not be able to afford it. But does child care? To | | | | then you must NOT BACK DOWN from set |
| be honest, no. They just want what they want. Even if | | | | consequences you give if they disobey you. Even if |
| your teen wouldn't throw a fit about getting a car, they | | | | your teen sulks and says mean things to you. If you |
| might throw a fit about coming home by a certain time | | | | give in this time, you will be on the merry-go-round with |
| or doing the dishes after dinner. | | | | defiant behavior with your teen again. |
| Some parents find it intimidating to stand up to a teen. | | | | If you have an out of control teen it's too late for |
| Physical speaking it's easier to discipline a five-year-old | | | | negotiating or discussing terms. Teens are smart. They |
| who is smaller than you, then a hulking six foot son. But | | | | know when their parents have back bones or not. As |
| you must. Some parents hate tough love. But I'll share | | | | long as you are fair, give them praise when it is due, |
| something with you. Teens can listen if they want to. | | | | they will respect you in the end. I have yet to hear of |
| They will if they know there are REAL consequences | | | | someone who respects a jelly fish. So don't be a jelly |
| at sake. There are many teens that have jobs. If they | | | | fish. You deserve respect. |
| can keep a job and obey their boss, how come you're | | | | |