| First off, let's understand the basics of the coaching | | | | intended to help the client identify the issues they face, |
| relationship. It's so easy to get locked into a power | | | | become aware of where they are now, form a vision |
| struggle with your teen. As the struggle escalates, | | | | for their future, and strategize to achieve that vision. |
| communication shuts down. The conversations get | | | | The client is responsible for setting the goals, |
| louder and louder, but nobody's listening. As a coach, | | | | determining what action steps are appropriate, and |
| you let go of the need to control. As a mother of | | | | taking the steps. The coach supports the client and |
| three grown children, I know that's scary. But, let's face | | | | holds them accountable. |
| it, the command and control technique doesn't work | | | | How does this translate to the parent/teen |
| with teenagers anyway. So, take a deep breath and | | | | relationship? Let's say a teen is struggling in school. The |
| remember, we can only control our own behavior. | | | | parent can help the teen solve this problem by asking |
| I became interested in applying coaching techniques to | | | | questions to identify the issue. OK, I know the report |
| raising teenagers when I offered my adult daughter a | | | | card seems like the issue, but let's find out what the |
| sample session. We really struggled when she was a | | | | teen has to say. Appropriate questions might be: Are |
| teen, but she is turning into a delightful young lady. At | | | | you struggling to understand the material? Are you |
| the conclusion of the session, she thanked me for | | | | spending adequate time studying? Are you getting |
| listening to her and she had also realized some things | | | | adequate rest? Do you have an appropriate place to |
| about herself that will help her develop into the person | | | | study? Help your teen build accountability by allowing |
| that she was meant to be. That did not happen all the | | | | them to examine their behavior and come up with the |
| years that I tried to control her behavior and keep her | | | | answers. Resist the urge to jump in and tell them what |
| out of trouble. | | | | the problem is. |
| Now that we're clear on the coaching mindset, let's talk | | | | Then the parent might build awareness in the teen by |
| about the techniques that coaches use to help clients | | | | asking questions like what will your life be like in 5 |
| reach their full potential. After all, we all want our | | | | years if this pattern continues? Is that what you want? |
| children to grow into the best adults that they can | | | | How do you plan to achieve that future? Then, let the |
| possibly be. Coaches facilitate transformation by | | | | teen build a vision. How would they like their life to look |
| listening intently and responding with powerful | | | | in 5 years? How likely are you to achieve that? After |
| questions. You can coach a teen around many issues: | | | | building a vision, it's easy to move into strategizing by |
| School performance, job choice, and choice of friends | | | | asking what the logical next step is and how you can |
| come to mind. | | | | support them in taking that step. If you commit to doing |
| A professional coach has been trained in the use of | | | | something for your teen, do it, and hold them |
| coaching models to ensure that clients identify and | | | | accountable for fulfilling the actions that they commit to. |
| address all facets of an issue. These models are | | | | |