| The first thing you need to know and believe is that | | | | general. You would need to find out what types of |
| adoption is possible. This must be a strong belief | | | | children are available to adopt and what are the |
| because adoption is a process. It can seem | | | | different ways you could adopt. Some of the options |
| complicated, time consuming and frustrating. Although | | | | are support groups, state adoption specialists, and |
| each year the process becomes a little bit easier | | | | information packets from the state that you live in. |
| because of the many resources available to help | | | | Once you have contacted an agency to help the first |
| prospective adoptive parents learn about adoption. | | | | thing that will happen is a home study. A home study |
| You will hear many horror stories and myths like | | | | consists of gathering information about the prospective |
| adopted children are troubled. There is absolutely no | | | | adoptive couple including educating the couple, |
| truth that adopted children have more problems than | | | | preparing them for adoption, and interviewing the |
| birth children. Parenting is more about bonding, love and | | | | couple. This process can take from 2 months to 10 |
| trust than about biology. In fact some parents who | | | | months, depending upon the particular agency. This is |
| adopt a child may be more successful than parents | | | | due to different training requirements and waiting lists |
| that are able to have biological children. This is due to | | | | for individual agencies. It is important to study the |
| the fact that the adopted parents have made a | | | | requirements for your state because that will |
| decision to bring a child into their life which is not | | | | determine the requirements that all adoptive parents |
| always the case with biological families. Also, biological | | | | must meet before being considered as adoptive |
| parents may have children for the wrong reasons. | | | | parents. |
| They may have children to continue the family name | | | | As soon as the home study is finished it is time to |
| or to please members of the family. This is where life | | | | start the placement process. At this time a child will be |
| can be unfair. | | | | chosen who may fit in with the family. The time it will |
| An adoptive couple must go through a process and be | | | | take to adopt a child at this point will of course vary. |
| screened to see if they will be good parents. This can | | | | This depends on the type of adoption that is being |
| cause frustration to many adoptive parents as their | | | | considered. For example, a private adoption will require |
| whole life is scrutinized to see if they will be approved | | | | a lawyer. If an agency is being used the family may be |
| to adopt a child. Meanwhile there are no requirements | | | | one of many families that is picked by the expectant |
| for biological parents before they become parents. In | | | | parents. Then there is a foster care adoption. This |
| fact the unfairness of it all can be boiled down to one | | | | type of adoption gives the family information about a |
| question that is asked of the adopted parents. Why do | | | | number of children who are waiting for a good home. It |
| you want to become parents? Most adoption | | | | may also provide an opportunity to get to know the |
| agencies want to hear from prospective adoptive | | | | child before they are placed with a family because |
| parents that their main reason for wanting a child is a | | | | these children are allowed to receive visits from |
| general liking of children. Meanwhile the answers that | | | | prospective parents. Also, if a child is taken into the |
| come from biological parents range from: I don't know, | | | | home as a foster child, generally the family will be able |
| a general liking of children, to continue the family name, | | | | to adopt the child once the child is available for |
| or to please other people in the family. | | | | adoption. Finally, there is international adoption. At this |
| The process of adoption gives adoptive parents time | | | | point the family may receive a referral. A referral is a |
| to consider why they want children. This is another | | | | child that is waiting to be adopted internationally. The |
| difference between biological parents and adoptive | | | | referral will contain information about the child and give |
| parents. There is no doubt that adopting a child will | | | | the prospective parents a chance to learn about one |
| bring different stresses than parents who have the | | | | specific child. Generally, the parents are asked to read |
| opportunity to form families by birth, but the extra | | | | the information and wait 24 hours before making a |
| stresses do not mean extra problems. | | | | decision. Also, all adoptions must be finalized in court. |
| The process begins with asking questions. What is | | | | The last and most important step is when a child is |
| important to you when thinking about adopting a child? | | | | adopted. Now the work and rewards begin. It is time to |
| Do you want a boy or a girl? Do you want an infant or | | | | parent the child. Many families may need support |
| an older child? Would you consider a special needs | | | | during the first year. It can take 6 months to a year for |
| child? Do you realize some of the difficulties that may | | | | a child to become comfortable in a new home. Many |
| arise when raising a child? Then you must also | | | | times adopted children are passed from one home to |
| consider your lifestyle now and how a child will fit into | | | | another and have no security in their lives. Generally all |
| that lifestyle. Couples who have waited a long time to | | | | of these children will go through two stages. The first is |
| have a child may have formed friendships with other | | | | the honeymoon phase where the children do not |
| couples who do not have children. They must realize | | | | seem to present many problems. The second is the |
| that their entire life will change as their child will have to | | | | testing phase where children will do things to anger the |
| come first. This will definitely be a new experience. | | | | parents to see if they will be rejected once again. |
| There will be times when it is convenient to have a | | | | Slowly, the family will become more cohesive. The |
| child and other times when it is not so convenient. . | | | | children will relax and be able to let their guard down |
| Let's say that you have now have answered these | | | | and become children. Then, one day out of the blue |
| questions and want to go forward and adopt a child. | | | | the child will express his love to the parents and that is |
| The next question is to find out what your options are. | | | | when the rewards really begin. |
| At this point you would need to read about adoption in | | | | |