Adopted Children Often Feel Like an Outsider

Adoption creates many of the same dynamics asexposure to friends' parents, he/she may believe that
stepfamilies. In fact, any family in which the legalall parents would respond in the exact same way.
guardian(s) are not the biological parent (s) to theIf that child transitions to a new household and guardian
child(ren), there is the potential for stressful issues toparent, the learning process is lost completely. Neither
arise. The natural biological bond between a parentthe parent nor the child know the other person's looks,
and child grows from day 1 when the baby is in thesayings, or mannerisms. When the child does/says the
womb and continuously builds. In all other families, thesame thing as before, the new parent/guardian
child is separated from the person with whom theyresponds in a manner consistent with his/her
have that strong natural bond. The older this child ispersonality, upbringing, and belief systems. However,
when separated, the harder it is for him/her to form athat response is contrary to how the biological parent
strong bond with another parent.used to respond. This is when misinterpretations and
As a baby grows, he/she learns about the world fromconfusion sometimes enters. Depending on how the
his/her parents. All of his/her needs are met throughsituation is handled by each person, and their
the parents. In short, a baby's world IS his/her parents.personalities, the child may start to feel like an outsider.
That is all he/she knows. The parent learns what eachIf the child already feels like an outsider because of the
look or sound means, and responds in a particularnewness of the relationship (or other reasons), this
manner. As the baby grows, he/she comes to expectfeeling could deepen.
a particular response every time he/she says or doesFor a more in depth explanation of being an outsider
a specific thing that generated that response in thevs insider, please refer to my previous article "Who's
past. Depending on the age of a child, and his/heron the Inside? Who's on the Outside?