| Parental Patience is the key to disciplining children with | | | | polite, and to socially engage the neighbor for an age |
| ADHD but picking your battles, and maintaining | | | | appropriate amount of time. You can tell the child that |
| perspective of what rules are truly important as well | | | | after 'X' number of minutes it will be OK to bring out |
| as a few other practical disciplining strategies can help | | | | the toy and play quietly until you are finished with the |
| you make the best of often volatile, ADHD, child | | | | visit. It should be clearly spelled out in advance what is |
| rearing situations. | | | | not OK behavior and what the consequences are for |
| Children with ADHD can be developmentally immature | | | | misbehaving. |
| and are often trying their best. Coexisting conditions | | | | Rewarding positive behavior, as quickly and |
| such as language processing problems, distractibility | | | | consistently, as punishing unacceptable behavior will go |
| problems and Oppositional Defiance Disorder issues | | | | a long way to keeping your children well behaved. |
| can contribute greatly to the behavioral problems that | | | | Positive reinforcement tools such as awarding chips or |
| exist in these children. Trying to discipline highly | | | | points for good behavior, which can later be used for |
| distractible children with a combination of | | | | privileges, often motivates children with ADHD to be on |
| communication and impulse control issues can be | | | | their best behavior. |
| challenging. Remembering the ADHD child's limitations | | | | At my house, my kids get 10 minutes added to their |
| will allow you to better see behavioral challenges from | | | | screen time when they are caught behaving well. They |
| the child's point of view and will help you avoid | | | | lose 10 minutes of screen time if they break a house |
| common pitfalls to effective parenting such as | | | | rule or misbehave. Larger behavioral successes may |
| miscommunication, unrealistic expectations, and angry | | | | get them an extra hour of screen time, or a trip to the |
| child/parent interactions. | | | | movies, while larger behavioral violations will make |
| It is very important that parents of children with ADHD | | | | them lose an hour of screen time or may cost them |
| pick their battles carefully. Not all rules are of equal | | | | the loss of a play date. |
| importance. Parents must not discipline children for | | | | Maintaining a quiet, good humored, patient, calm, and |
| rules that, in the 'big picture' of life, are simply not that | | | | respectful parental manner when ADHD children are |
| important. Parents must also remember that most | | | | misbehaving is an art worth mastering. It is important |
| children do not set out to make their parent's lives | | | | that children with ADHD know that their caretakers will |
| miserable. Most children would stay out of trouble if | | | | be calm and consistent in their discipline and will: |
| they could. Picking your battles is practical advice no | | | | Communicate clearly what is expected of them. |
| matter what you are attempting to do but when | | | | Respond fairly and immediately when discipline is |
| parenting children with ADHD there is plenty to | | | | necessary. |
| concern yourself with without wasting your disciplining | | | | Be consistent in their expectations. |
| energy on matters that are not important. If your family | | | | Listen to them actively and respectfully, and |
| always eats at the Chinese restaurant after church | | | | Be empathetic to the problems that they are |
| and your ADHD child hates Chinese food. Do not insist | | | | experiencing. |
| that he find something to eat there. Pack him a | | | | Children with ADHD often do not hear things that a |
| sandwich to eat and let it go. Disciplining in an | | | | parent says the way the parent intended. Parents |
| exceedingly strict manner will seldom work well with | | | | must communicate in a clear, respectful, non-sarcastic |
| these children. Your child may not be able to articulate | | | | and unambiguous way what is expected of these |
| what the Chinese food problem is but respect their | | | | children. Do not say; "Who were you expecting to pick |
| preference, do not hold a grudge, let it go, and move | | | | up your dirty socks?" A better statement would be: |
| on. | | | | "Please pick up your dirty clothes and put them in the |
| Clear Communication is imperative to an effective | | | | laundry hamper." |
| discipline strategy. Children with ADHD must be told: | | | | The punishment you give your ADHD child should fit |
| What the house rules are. | | | | the violation and should be immediate. Grounding a child |
| What is expected of them. | | | | for a week on Friday for not taking out the recycling |
| What the consequences are of unacceptable | | | | on Tuesday is too much discipline too late. A more |
| behavior. | | | | appropriate discipline response might be a loss of |
| What anger outlets are acceptable. | | | | screen time or other prized privilege on the day of the |
| House rules should be spelled out on a behavior chart | | | | infraction. |
| or in another clearly stated manner. Children must be | | | | Children with ADHD need to know that the house rules |
| told what is expected of them beforehand. | | | | apply no matter what. Children with ADHD are less |
| Expectations should be age appropriate and realistic | | | | successful at interpreting the house rules when the |
| given the child's maturity level. Children with ADHD can | | | | rules change with different circumstances. If it is not |
| lag in maturity by 30% percent when compared to | | | | OK to play ball in the house on most days, it should not |
| non-ADHD children. Parents should take this into | | | | be OK because your neighbor's young children are |
| account when explaining to children, with ADHD, the | | | | over and they are allowed to do this at their house. |
| behavior that is expected of them. | | | | Rules must be consistently applied in order to |
| Certain children with ADHD have a tendency to | | | | maximize compliance. |
| explode. They can quickly become angry and violent. | | | | There are always two sides of a discipline issue. Truly |
| These children need to be told what is acceptable | | | | listening to what your ADHD child reports regarding |
| behavior when they are angry and what is not. At my | | | | their inability to behave as expected is an important |
| house it is acceptable for my children to go to their | | | | component of parenting in a fair and empathetic |
| bedrooms and hit the wall with their pillows, it is | | | | manner. If the child has a truly reasonable excuse for |
| acceptable to throw their stuffed animals against their | | | | the failure to follow through with the expected |
| bedroom walls or on their bed, it is acceptable to | | | | behavior, discuss with empathy how to avoid this pitfall |
| punch their bed mattress, it is acceptable to go outside | | | | in the future and discipline accordingly. A child who |
| and bang a stick against the sidewalk, it is acceptable | | | | broke a sibling's toy while trying to stuff it into the |
| to run around the block providing they tell me where | | | | sibling's toy box so that that the toy would not get lost, |
| they are going, etc. | | | | needs to be thanked for trying to do something 'nice' |
| Children need to have an acceptable outlet for their | | | | but still needs to be told that they are expected to help |
| anger and they need to be congratulated when they | | | | repair the toy because the toy is now broken. Listening |
| choose an acceptable anger strategy. Children who | | | | to and trying to understand the difficulties that your |
| demonstrate their anger in an unacceptable manner | | | | ADHD child is having is important to maintaining a |
| must be told in advance how they will be disciplined for | | | | respectful and loving relationship with your child. This |
| losing their temper and the discipline should be applied | | | | approach will also teach your child to have empathy |
| consistently and promptly when they fail to utilize an | | | | for other people's problems. |
| acceptable anger outlet strategy. | | | | Parental patience is the key to parenting children with |
| Situations where the child may find it difficult to control | | | | ADHD. A few other practical disciplining strategies |
| their behavior require special preparation. The parent | | | | such as communicating clearly what is expected, |
| should anticipate potential problems that might arise | | | | consistently and promptly administering discipline for |
| beforehand and discuss these with the child. An | | | | unacceptable behavior, maintaining a 'big picture' |
| example would be this; your ADHD child is going with | | | | perspective; listening to and displaying empathy |
| you to an elderly neighbor's house to visit. This | | | | regarding the circumstances of the misbehavior, giving |
| neighbors house in not child friendly and there is nothing | | | | the child a safe outlet for displaying heightened |
| there for a child to do. You will need to tell the child | | | | emotions, and relying more on positive reinforcement |
| that the house is not child friendly and that you are | | | | rather than on punishment when disciplining can help |
| going to bring an acceptable toy for the child to play | | | | you make the best of often volatile, ADHD, child |
| with, the child will need to be reminded to be quiet, | | | | rearing situations. |