| "Why did my daddy leave? | | | | them about feelings and emotions, you can give them |
| Was it because I was a bad girl or he didn't love us | | | | permission to open up and share. |
| anymore?" | | | | Single parenting: |
| Explaining the absent parent is never easy, but it is | | | | One out of every four American children lives in a |
| necessary. For children, their primary fear is of | | | | single-parent home. While most single-parent homes |
| abandonment and loss of parental love. There may be | | | | are the result of divorce, many parents and |
| a number of reasons that the family is no longer intact, | | | | grandparents are raising children alone for other |
| if it ever was, but the child is looking for reassurance | | | | reasons as well. Some may be alone due to the death |
| that it is not their fault and that they will be cared for. | | | | of a spouse, military assignments, single parent |
| Children's lives revolve around their family: | | | | adoption, incarceration, drug or alcohol abuse and a |
| The family unit is all they have ever known and to | | | | myriad of other reasons for a parent to be absent in |
| hear that a parent or caregiver is no longer going to be | | | | the life of a child. |
| there is very traumatic and almost unbelievable. They | | | | Put the children's needs first: |
| will jump to a number of conclusions, most of them | | | | As an adult it is your responsibility to care for the |
| wrong and blaming themselves, in an effort to find | | | | children, both physically and emotionally. Recognize that |
| answers and just cope. In an effort to make sense of | | | | a long period of grief and mourning are natural. A |
| the situation, they may become clingy to the caregiver | | | | preschooler may regress in such things as toilet training |
| and think "If he left, maybe you will too." | | | | or begin to have nightmares or new fears. School age |
| Feelings of Abandonment and isolation: | | | | children may be showing signs of anger, guilt and |
| No matter what other reactions children may | | | | sadness. You may see a drop in school grades and |
| demonstrate to the adults in their lives, almost all have | | | | activities. Teenagers may assume they will be forced |
| a deep and pervasive sorrow and sadness about | | | | into an adult role or not have money enough for his |
| them. One of the best things you can do for your | | | | needs. No matter what the age, some children feel |
| children is to allow them to express their grief. | | | | responsible for the absent parent and harbor dreams |
| Prolonged crying and preoccupation with the lost | | | | about making it all right again. If you can not work out |
| relationship are normal responses. Parents and family | | | | problems by open communication and cooperation, do |
| frequently try to hide their own despair and | | | | not hesitate to get professional help. Their self-esteem |
| disappointment from the children, but by talking with | | | | and future happiness may depend on it. |