| Defiance is a common behavior in most teenagers, | | | | situation. Instead of talking about it, the problem |
| worse in some. Typically, when kids reach the teenage | | | | manifests in the form of defiance. Therefore, before |
| years, they are trying to establish independence. While | | | | you assume your teen is simply being difficult, make |
| being independent is a good thing, defiance is not. If you | | | | sure you know what is going on in his/her life. |
| find you have a teen who continually acts out, | | | | 3. Yes and No - Set the rules with your child, saying |
| challenging your authority, the following five steps will | | | | yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no - |
| help. While a number of steps in dealing with a defiant | | | | then sticking with the decision. Often, children will be |
| teen are available, we have provided you with the | | | | defiant simply because they know they can get away |
| ones in which we feel the strongest. | | | | with it. As the parent, you have to set some firm rules |
| 1. Choose your Battles - You need to understand that | | | | and keep to them! |
| teenagers are going to act out from time to time. This | | | | 4. Guidance - All teenagers need guidance. Without it, |
| type of behavior is a part of the growing process, | | | | they are like fish out of the water, flopping around |
| similar to a baby bird trying its wings. Expect that | | | | hoping they do okay. With a defiant teen, you cannot |
| throughout the teen years, you are going to be faced | | | | impose strict rules all at once, but if you add guidance |
| with numerous challenges, some major and some | | | | in gradually and identify penalties, you will find your teen |
| minor. If you choose your battles wisely, you are not | | | | is more apt to adjust. Keep in mind that defiance in the |
| constantly harping on your child about something but | | | | form of hostile behavior is a desperate cry for help |
| only the really, important things. This does not mean | | | | stemming from deep-seeded problems. Your child |
| you have to accept back talk but know when to battle | | | | might be the victim of bullying or be considering some |
| and when not to battle. Allow your child a little | | | | type of self-harm. With guidance, you are taking a |
| breathing room to experiment without going over the | | | | huge load off the child that inside, is appreciated. |
| line. | | | | 5. Activities - Of our final steps for dealing with a |
| 2. Understand your Child - Of all these steps for | | | | defiant teen, get your teenager involved with activities, |
| dealing with a defiant teen, this one is extra important. It | | | | with or without the family. Boredom is a common |
| could be that your child is being defiant for a reason. | | | | problem during teenage years so give him/her |
| For instance, he or she may be having trouble with | | | | something to do. This could be through a program at |
| another student or teacher at school, perhaps | | | | school or an independent activity to include martial arts, |
| someone has said or done something inappropriately | | | | dance, baseball, etc. |
| and your child does not know how to handle the | | | | |