| Most negative experiences in athletics involve tension | | | | recognize and discuss the objectives of the league |
| between coaches and parents of athletes. Most of | | | | and level at which the team is playing. |
| the time, kids are very content with playing, having fun | | | | 5. Listen and discuss the parent's objectives for their |
| and being around their friends. Usually, players become | | | | own kids. Parents who have obvious differences in |
| discontented only after mom or dad have started | | | | objectives than the coaches may have to look for |
| grumbling about the way the coach is treating their | | | | another team for their kid if they cannot come to an |
| child with playing time or position played. Once a parent | | | | understanding. |
| has put this negative attitude in the player's mind they | | | | 6. Discuss when and how coaches can be |
| become a "grumbling" player towards the coach. This | | | | approached during the season so there are no public |
| unhappy attitude can be prevented if parents and | | | | confrontations. Set up a system where discussions |
| coaches develop a good relationship, especially at the | | | | are held away from the players, other parents and the |
| beginning of the season. Here is how: | | | | crowds. There will be issues that arise from time to |
| Suggestions for coaches to develop a successful | | | | time, but letting parents know that disagreements will |
| parent-coach relationship: | | | | be handled in a civil way, away from the players, is |
| 1. Give team parents background information about all | | | | crucial. |
| the coaches, especially about playing and/or coaching | | | | 7. Discuss coaching policies when players miss |
| experience related to the game. (This should not have | | | | practices or games, so everybody is treated the same |
| to be mentioned but honesty about backgrounds is | | | | and all are clear about the policy. |
| paramount to developing trust.) | | | | 8. Effective communication is the key to averting |
| 2. Express philosophy of coaching. The three ultimate | | | | problems - make sure parents inform their kids about |
| objectives are winning, player development and fun. | | | | the coaches' philosophies. |
| Specifically state where coaches stand on these three | | | | 9. As mentioned, troubles begin when parents start to |
| objectives. I suggest a 30, 30, 30 split on these | | | | grumble at home to the players about the coach. |
| objectives and applying the remaining 10 percent for | | | | Insisting that parents approach coaches before getting |
| the area most needed. This 10 percent will be | | | | upset and expressing that displeasure at home is |
| determined by the competitiveness of the team and | | | | essential to keeping players from becoming unhappy |
| the league. | | | | about their coach. |
| 3. Explain team goals and individual player expectations | | | | 10. Most issues arise because parents do not feel the |
| for the upcoming season. I believe it is alright to play to | | | | coach is being fair. It is important that coaches fulfill his |
| win even at younger levels, as long as it is kept in | | | | or her philosophy that was initially expressed. Changing |
| perspective. Remember, developing skills and having | | | | philosophy in the middle of the season will create |
| fun are always an objective. Having to deal with | | | | problems. If a coach feels a philosophy change is |
| winning and losing will create many teaching moments | | | | totally necessary, they must discuss possible change |
| that will be important for kids to learn. | | | | with all parents first. |
| 4. Discuss philosophy about playing time and positions | | | | Finally, coaches should be role models and teachers to |
| played. For example, will players have to earn their | | | | their players. It is easier to help players develop their |
| position on the field or will coaches rotate players | | | | skills and enjoy the game when the parents |
| equally? Give parents a chance to ask questions, and | | | | understand the reasoning behind the coaches' |
| make sure answers are clearly understood. Be sure to | | | | philosophies. |