| The word no is probably the most overused word in | | | | extricate myself from this circle in which no resembles |
| the English language. I speak from experience since I | | | | yes more than it resembles itself. I have tried laughing; |
| myself use it frequently.I might begin a normal day by | | | | they laughed with me as they jumped from the fourth |
| saying, "No, Joshua, you may not have a hotdog for | | | | step of the stair case. I have tried getting on the floor |
| breakfast," or "No, Alex, please don't throw your cereal | | | | and rolling around with them; they pinned me down and |
| on the floor." After breakfast, I might say, "No, Joshua, | | | | Alex almost choked me as he tried to climb on my |
| don't hit your brother," or "No, Alex, don't kick your | | | | back for a piggy-back-ride. At that moment, I again |
| brother."While I'm making lunch, I usually need to tell | | | | reverted to humor saying to my son, "Alex, you are an |
| Alex, "No, you cannot climb onto the kitchen table." By | | | | instigator. Do you know what that means?" He threw |
| early afternoon, which is the time of day I set aside for | | | | his arms up in the air and yelled, "Fun!"I have tried to |
| my work, I usually find myself telling Joshua, "No, you | | | | curb my use of the word no by curbing my sons' |
| cannot wake Alex from his nap" or "No! Don't touch | | | | activities. My attempts at discipline have included giving |
| Mommy's computer!"By late afternoon, I find myself | | | | time-outs, sending them to their rooms, and putting |
| saying either one or a combination of the following: "No, | | | | them in corners. These methods seemed to have |
| you cannot climb on the dresser"; "No, you cannot sit | | | | some immediate value, but only until the next time. I |
| on the dresser"; "No, you cannot jump off of the | | | | even tried to instill more meaning in the word no by |
| dresser." By early evening my repertoire usually | | | | saying very seriously, "No means no!" I have to admit |
| includes, "No, boys, you cannot crash your cars into the | | | | that I have been reduced to this innocuous statement |
| walls" and "No, Alex, you cannot eat the cookie you've | | | | more often than once.There are times when I simply |
| dropped on the floor. No! You can't take the dirty | | | | let chaos reign. I listen closely for the danger signals |
| cookie out of the garbage!" On any given day, by the | | | | and intervene only if and when I hear them. I can also |
| time my sons are securely tucked into their beds and | | | | count on Joshua, who recently turned four, to tattle. It's |
| are soundly sleeping - that can be anywhere from 8:00 | | | | wonderful because he even tattles on |
| until 11:00 - I have probably used the word no at least | | | | himself.Recently, I ignored all of the thuds and booms |
| one-hundred times.No has little value in our household, | | | | that I heard coming from the toy room. I even ignored |
| which I look upon as a microcosm of the world at | | | | the cries and screams since none lasted for more |
| large. People habitually ignore signs saying: no parking, | | | | than a few seconds. Eventually, Joshua came |
| no smoking, or no loitering. Last night, I watched a man | | | | downstairs to tell me that Alex was in the bathroom |
| park his car in a parking place reserved for the | | | | taking everything out of the cabinet. I walked up the |
| handicapped. Although the car had a handicapped | | | | stairs, expecting to find towels strewn about. Instead, I |
| parking permit displayed properly, none of the four | | | | found Alex standing on the vanity removing all of the |
| people who emerged from the car had any visible | | | | medicine from the medicine cabinet. Joshua, who had |
| handicap.People generally look upon an answer of no | | | | followed me up the stairs, left the bathroom and |
| as a challenge. Romantic movies are filled with plots in | | | | returned a few moments later with a large bottle of |
| which the guy doesn't give up until he gets the girl and | | | | children's cough medicine and a small bottle of syrup of |
| they live happily ever after. If so many adults fail to | | | | ipecac that he had found in Alex's bedroom.Somehow, |
| respond to the word no, then how can I expect | | | | no did not pack enough power to deal with the |
| anything different from two small children? The | | | | situation, so I immediately purchased safety locks for |
| answer is that I cannot expect anything different, yet | | | | the bathroom and laundry room doors. That eliminated |
| breaking the "no habit" is a difficult prospect.With such | | | | several instances of no per day.Since I cannot remove |
| blatant overuse, the word no has obviously lost its | | | | all of the furniture from my house, and since I cannot |
| meaning; at least it has lost its meaning for my sons. | | | | alter my sons' perception of the word no (any more |
| The more often I say no, the less often my sons | | | | than I can stop my brother from parking illegally |
| respond to it; it is as if a viscous circle has taken over | | | | downtown), I must continue my search for other |
| the discipline in our household. If I had not already | | | | successful methods of eliminating no from my |
| recognized the overuse of this two-letter-word which | | | | vocabulary. The tactic that usually works best with |
| has invaded my home, I would have been startled | | | | any child is patience; although, it is difficult to be patient |
| when Alex, my almost-two-year-old son, began saying, | | | | when your children are perpetually black and blue, so I |
| "No-no-no. No-no-no." He has even been known to | | | | must use patience cautiously when jumping and |
| chant "no-no-no, no-no-no," while walking through the | | | | climbing are involved. There are, however, plenty of |
| house with a cup of juice. I console myself with the | | | | other occasions in which the word no surfaces in my |
| thought that he at least understands that juice does | | | | house. On these occasions, it is my goal to find |
| not belong outside of the kitchen.I find this to be a very | | | | another response to the situations which arise. So the |
| difficult situation. With boys like mine, I cannot sit idly by | | | | next time I catch Alex eating Vaseline, before groaning |
| waiting for a witty response to hit me in the face. It is | | | | or screeching - No! - I'll have to take a deep breath |
| more likely that they will hit each other in the face - or | | | | and say, "Alex, are you hungry?"If I can successfully |
| somewhere else. My greatest concern is that one day | | | | reduce these instances of the word no in my |
| they will be in a dangerous situation (thinking, of course, | | | | vocabulary, I hope that, with age, my sons will |
| that they are having great fun) and that my warnings | | | | eventually learn that no does have a meaning. Until that |
| will go unheeded because no has no meaning for | | | | time arrives, I am left with several years of holding my |
| them. Not that jumping off of dressers and climbing on | | | | breath every time I hear Joshua say, "Alex, let's jump!" |
| tables are not potentially dangerous situations; this is | | | | In the meantime, I have stocked up on Dalmatian |
| the reason why I do not waste time on brilliantly | | | | Band-Aids and Bactine.Michele R. Acosta is a writer, a |
| creative responses which would satisfy the gurus of | | | | former English teacher, and the mother of three boys. |
| child psychology before mobilizing into action. It simply | | | | She spends her time writing and teaching others to |
| seems that climbing and jumping are commonplace | | | | write. Visit articles.TheWritingTutor.biz for more articles, |
| occurrences in my house. In retrospect, it is easy to tell | | | | writingeditingservice.TheWritingTutor.biz for |
| myself that I should have been more creative in | | | | professional writing/editing services, or |
| formulating responses to my sons' exuberance and | | | | TheWritingTutor.biz for other writing and educational |
| zest for life; however, in the midst of two boys rolling | | | | resources for young authors, teachers, and |
| on the floor with legs and arms flailing, the word | | | | parents.Copyright (c) 2004-2005 The Writing Tutor & |
| closest at hand is usually: No!I have attempted to | | | | Michele R. Acosta. All rights reserved. |