| Do you remember that phase in your
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| | child will gain greater self esteem when
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| child's life when all you heard was "I
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| | you encourage independence and
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| want to do it!"? You're in a hurry, and
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| | responsibility.
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| you want to help your child get dressed,
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| | Build in Life Skills through Routines
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| but your two or three year old will have
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| | Routines give your child practice and
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| no part of that. You must wait for 15
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| | repetition. If, for instance, the after
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| minutes while she masters the socks and
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| | school routine includes putting away the
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| shoes. Your helpful child, at this age,
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| | lunch box and coat, having a snack, and
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| wants to take out the trash, put away the
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| | doing homework, your child learns
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| silverware, bake cookies, and clean the
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| | responsibility as a way of life. If you
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| bathroom. What on Earth happens to this
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| | want your child to have good personal
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| independent child?
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| | grooming skills, build brushing hair and
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| Not all children, but many, shift into a
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| | teeth, and washing face into a morning
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| new phase. Picking up their toys is a
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| | and bedtime routine. When a child does
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| dreadful task. Playing is so much more
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| | the same thing over and over, he learns
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| important than doing homework. Getting
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| | independence without even thinking about
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| them to hang up their coat or make their
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| | it.
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| bed is like pulling their two front
| |
| | Let Children Fall Down and Experience the
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| teeth. In the teenage years, you get
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| | Consequences
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| another glimpse of independence, but it's
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| | Resist the urge to be a helicopter parent
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| not exactly in the areas you might want.
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| | and hover over your child. Life is full
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| Teenagers insist they have all their
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| | of opportunities to succeed and make
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| academics, social relationships, and life
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| | mistakes. The lesson is reinforced and
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| in general, under control. You may think
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| | learning takes place when children are
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| differently, but who are you? To a
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| | allowed to make mistakes. If your child
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| teenager, you're just an old fashioned
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| | makes a bad choice, let him experience
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| and unintelligent parent.
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| | the natural or imposed consequences. A
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| Regardless of what children may want or
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| | "D" or an "F" on an exam sends a very
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| think they need, parents have a job to
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| | clear message that the child needs to
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| teach responsibility and independence. It
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| | study harder. The effect is not the same
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| is a lifelong commitment that isn't
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| | when you are hounding your child to study
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| always so easy, but here are some tips to
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| | so she doesn't fail. When your child
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| keep you on track.
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| | makes the choice to extend his curfew by
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| Encourage Independence by Refusing to
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| | an hour, he loses the privilege of going
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| Step In
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| | out the next weekend. Guaranteed he will
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| When your child reaches an age to take on
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| | think twice before staying out late the
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| an age-appropriate activity, show your
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| | next time.
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| child how to do it, then let go and let
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| | Coach your Children towards Independence
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| your child struggle. It can be hard to
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| | and Responsibility
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| watch children fight with their
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| | When your child is faced with a future or
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| shoelaces, or stumble over their words in
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| | past decision, ask a lot of open ended
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| a new friendship, but it is in these
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| | questions that encourage your child to
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| moments that children are learning. The
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| | think for himself. "What do you think you
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| joy they feel when they gain a little
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| | should say to your friend?" "What could
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| more independence can be very rewarding,
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| | you have done differently in this
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| and a strong motivator to try new tasks
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| | situation?" Giving advice teaches your
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| in the future.
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| | children what you want and what you think
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| Believe in Your Child
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| | is best. Coaching your children supports
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| Children need to know you believe in
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| | them in developing good decision making
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| them. Encourage your children with
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| | skills, and honoring what is best for
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| positive words such as, "You are a smart
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| | them. It's okay if they don't make the
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| girl. You can figure this out." Teach
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| | best choice. Live and learn.
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| your children to think positively about
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| | The goal in raising children is not to
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| themselves by modeling this behavior in
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| | protect them from pain or undesirable
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| yourself. The Little Blue Engine didn't
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| | circumstances, but to equip them with
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| give up and the reward was confidence.
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| | what they need to be responsible,
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| Confidence builds on itself, and your
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| | independent and resilient adults.
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