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Raising Your Child To Be A Good Kid

Here is the case study the ferrets that begs
the question: environment influences to raiseI see many parents struggling these days with
a child or genetic predisposition to raise athe yoke of full-time jobs that don't seem to
child?come with much in terms of vacations. With
both parents working, parents can be seeing
I have a friend who several years ago had hertheir children for as little as a
child kidnapped out from under her from thehalf-an-hour a day. And stay-at-home parents
other parent. Basically, it was a reallydiscover the burden of trying to get
long weekend that turned into well over seveneverything done while raising children. How
years. The child was taken to Florida andmuch quality time does a stay-at-home mom
then years later appeared on a website nearhave to sit down and influence their
to her home in Ontario. She had once trackedchildren?
him down in Florida but the school told the
father which meant he pulled up stakes. SheI ask you to look at your circumstances as a
had him in her sites. Even before she pickedparent and just accept them. Reality is
up the phone, filed all the paperwork as shereality. The question is, can you change the
still had full custody, the child phoned antrend  of  your  parenting  style?
uncle  who  gave  her  number  to  him.
If  so,  these  are  the  areas  to  improve:
She was very concerned this child would have
been negatively influenced against her. He1. Rituals and routines--Want to spend less
had lived on the run, away from any of hertime fighting with your children? Stick up
family the entire last seven years. Would heillustrations of everything that needs to get
grow to be a good kid because of hisdone in the morning and in the evening. Give
environmental surroundings? He later toldthem a checklist to fill in. Praise them for
her that they were less than ideal with sometheir success. Truthfully, as an adult, we
of his father's girlfriends semi-starving himno longer rebel against doing our teeth.
or being left with a medical condition tooThat's  because  it  is  routine.
long such as a broken arm? Not ideal at all
for environmental. He comes from a wonderful2. Set time aside for each child--This is
lady, that's for sure but his father didn'timportant stuff. A child banks their
seem to get fatherhood by reports I've heardself-esteem on what you think of them for
until  his  own  parents  wanted  the  child.many, many years. If you child perceives
that they aren't worth the time, then expect
But in the end, she was amazed at what athem to have some issues around their
fabulous child he was and how he mostly tookself-esteem. If instead, you take a solid
everything in his step. So how then did thisten minutes a day to spend with them. It can
result come from a child who was pretty muchbe sitting on the carpet playing with your
mistreated by the other parent and thatbaby or taking a walk with your oldest or
parent's  girlfriends?playing dolls with your child. Each child
gets your time individually once a day. This
Genetic or environmental, I asked. What madeapplies to other parents too. If you feel
this child turn out in spite of hisyou don't have time to spend doing this, then
upbringing.intergrate the individual time into chores.
There's no reason your child can't dry the
"No, no, no," she said. "You think that hedishes or help you put on the wash. But make
was raised by his father. He wasn't. I hadit  their  time  by  talking  to  them.
him until he was six. That's how long it
takes  to raise your child up the right way."3. Meet their spiritual needs.--Talk about
their family, where they came from, stories
And experts are on her side. For many years,from when you were little and fill them with
experts in the parenting years said 0-3 werethe  sense  that  they  belong.
the most critical years of development but
later around 2001 added that 0-6 years of age4. Get a copy of the 'Desiderata' for
were the most important. Communities acrossyourself. This poem reminds each and
our country have become involved with thiseveryone of us how to be a successful person
time in children's lives through programs ofand to put things into perspective. In
all kinds. In the past, these children wouldfreeing you own spirit, you will be a better
have been met at the school door. So yes,parent. Fill yourself up spiritually by
her point has a lot of belief from theseeking out support groups for families.
academic  and  social  community.Never  isolate  yourself from your community.
If you don't have any sense of control, then5. Outings--Play as a family as much as you
oh well, that's going to pretty much continuecan. Remember always that there will come a
past the age of six. If you do, it too willtime when they want their friends over.
continue. Now, not every parent/childSteal one day a week just for your family and
relationship is ideal in certain years but onput a special stamp on it that says nobody
the whole, if you can count most of thoseelse,  just  your  family  can have that day.
years as good ones where you see your child
grow-up,  then  they  were  good  times.Good luck in your parenting.



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