| In no specific order, their answers are as | | | | have to deal with at least a couple of times |
| follows:Steve Payne:"Good question. How do | | | | a week here at Oak Marr RECenter. This can |
| you take a potentially volatile situation and | | | | definitely be a tricky situation. The first |
| turn it into a communication dream? Not an | | | | thing that you DON'T want to do is disparage |
| easy thing to do. You must be a student of | | | | the father in front of the son. What I |
| human tendencies, skilled in observation and | | | | usually do is offer them more effective |
| interpretation of body language, | | | | alternatives. Just telling them that what |
| relationships and voice inflection. Or you | | | | they are doing is wrong is non-productive. I |
| can just take a shot. Either way, your | | | | also explain to them in simple terms what the |
| approach must be one of timidity, humility | | | | consequences can be if the exercises continue |
| and timing; built on certain basic principles | | | | to be performed dangerously or improperly.A |
| of human interaction if you are succeed.I | | | | lot of times, I may take the father over to |
| will suggest two scenarios: The first takes | | | | the side, depending on the personality type. |
| place in the environment where I train. In | | | | Sometimes, to get certain fathers to listen, |
| this particular realm, let's assume that a | | | | I have to expound on my credentials, and that |
| father is training his son to squat using the | | | | usually works. However, there will always |
| so called "Smith Rack." This father's own | | | | be those who don't want to listen, like the |
| instruction capability may be way | | | | father in Florida who informed me that he |
| over-estimated and he is giving his son poor | | | | used to be a bodybuilder, he knew what he was |
| advice, as well as loading the device with | | | | doing, and his 11 year old son "needed" to |
| much too heavy a training weight. The kid | | | | "get more mass" in his lats. More often than |
| could blow a knee, back, whatever. What do | | | | not, though, I have come across very |
| you do?The second scenario is a little | | | | appreciative fathers who are grateful that |
| different; let's assume that I'm out in the | | | | there are people like us out there that care |
| field, or at the track. I see a dad having | | | | enough to help."Rick Karboviak:"This is |
| junior do repeated depth jumps from a height | | | | touchy, because most parents tend to believe |
| equal to the kids waist--around belt level. | | | | that they are doing absolutely the right |
| Oh yeah, the kid's also wearing ankle weights | | | | thing for their kids. In the case of seeing |
| and holding 10 pound dumbbells in each hand. | | | | a father teach his son an incorrect exercise |
| (I wish I was making this up and hadn't | | | | or potentially dangerous one, I'd have to be |
| witnessed it first-hand)In each scenario, the | | | | a professional about it and question the |
| potential for unsolicited advice to blow up | | | | father. I would ask him if he needed any |
| in your face is huge. Your approach must be | | | | further assistance in getting a strategy |
| tactful and humble, with an immediate | | | | lined up for his son's program. This would |
| solution to the situation. Since I have an | | | | be offering help without saying "Hey, you're |
| established presence at the gym where I do | | | | doing it all wrong, let me do it right for |
| most of my work, I am recognized and given a | | | | you." Maybe this guy is |
| certain degree of leeway towards advice | | | | |
| giving. In other words, most of the folks in | | | | just shooting from the hip and doing what |
| the gym at least know my face and are | | | | some other dad has his son doing? This |
| receptive to my approach. At the track, | | | | happens in the gym more than you think (Face |
| however, it is a different story. I'm just | | | | it, how many guys sit & BS by the water |
| another strikingly handsome face in the | | | | fountain and exchange myths???).If the dad is |
| crowd. In either case, in order for you to | | | | clueless, I |
| succeed, you must do one thing: first | | | | |
| establish a relationship. You must find some | | | | just found an opportunity to not only get a |
| sort of common ground, make a friend, allow | | | | client, but save a kid from doing improper |
| them to get to know you. You must create some | | | | things. So, in general, I offer my help in |
| degree of rapport. Every good salesman will | | | | the form of helping this dad out to help |
| concur with this statement. Without rapport | | | | benefit his son. If there's a dangerous lift |
| you are dead in the water. It is a well | | | | being done, I would take the time to explain |
| known fact, and one that I have preached for | | | | the reasons why its not the ideal exercise to |
| many years now: No one cares how much you | | | | do for overall athletic development. If the |
| know until they know how much you care!By | | | | father is inconsiderate in accepting my help, |
| spending a little time getting to know Dad | | | | I will let him pay for his son's medical |
| and establishing rapport, you can then ask | | | | bills that the kid will accrue from getting |
| him, "May I make a suggestion on what you and | | | | injured due to his dad's ignorance."John |
| Jr. here are doing?" In this way, you give | | | | Izzo:"I have to admit, I have always been one |
| him permission to either say "Yes" or "No", | | | | to walk by ANYONE doing exercises incorrectly |
| but it has to be his decision for there to be | | | | and leaving them be. My mantra was "let them |
| any degree of reception. If Dad says yes, | | | | perish in their own ignorance". And sometimes |
| then give it to him. If he says no, walk | | | | my mantra still is that....However, with kids |
| away. Attempting to pound your viewpoint | | | | being taught exercises incorrectly has always |
| into Dad may allow you to have a say-so, but | | | | brought an awkward feeling to me. A side of |
| it may also have a detrimental effect the | | | | me knows the father is trying to bond with |
| child, as Dad's anger is now directed toward | | | | his child and really making head-way to |
| him in an attempt to prove you wrong. Not | | | | establishing a disciplined and goal oriented |
| necessarily, but maybe.Establish rapport, ask | | | | child, so I usually understand that its the |
| permission, wait for the reply. The formula | | | | dad that needs my help. What I have done in |
| works, it just has to be applied."Wayne | | | | the past is deliberately perform the same |
| Burwell:"When it comes to family, you don't | | | | exercises in front of the child and father. I |
| want a father to lose face in front of his | | | | have gotten the glances and looks, and soon |
| son. In a good relationship, that father may | | | | enough...the questions. Usually, I am |
| be the boy's hero, and that's why he listens | | | | approached while the child is at the watrer |
| to him. In a bad situation, the child could | | | | fountain or locker-room. No problem. This is |
| be being forced to do the exercises. Either | | | | the opportunity I was looking for to build a |
| way it's a very delicate situation. How I | | | | rapport with dad.What I have also done, was |
| would approach it, especially if they are | | | | bond with the father and trade old "Arnold" |
| gross movements that will injure the | | | | stories. Then I would ask to "show" a "harder |
| child?One way would be to offer a personal | | | | version" of the exercise--only to to be |
| training demo. I'm well known in the | | | | accepted into their space. Once I have their |
| community for sports conditioning of young | | | | attention and hopefully, trust, I show them a |
| athletes. For those who aren't already known, | | | | progression of the exercise they performed |
| it might be more difficult, but it's really | | | | incorrectly. Once they are in awe of it's |
| about your approach. I would start with | | | | variety...I bring the exercise back to its |
| positive comments and praise for the father | | | | original prerequisite and begin my lesson. |
| commenting on the fact that he actually has | | | | Seems tricky and deceptive...but it |
| his son active and working out. In addition, | | | | works."Chaney Weiner:The most important thing |
| I'd likely work on his ego by pointing out to | | | | in approaching anyone doing an exercise |
| him that his son looks like a phenomenal | | | | incorrectly is to NOT insult them or come off |
| athlete, and I would invite them to a session | | | | as being arrogant. You MUST first develop |
| in order for me to give some pointers on | | | | rapport with them or all is lost no matter |
| strength and conditioning.Dr. Kwame | | | | what good intentions you have. |
| Brown:"This is a great question, and one I | | | | |