| In no specific order, their answers are as follows:Steve | | | | great question, and one I have to deal with at least a |
| Payne:"Good question. How do you take a potentially | | | | couple of times a week here at Oak Marr RECenter. |
| volatile situation and turn it into a communication | | | | This can definitely be a tricky situation. The first thing |
| dream? Not an easy thing to do. You must be a | | | | that you DON'T want to do is disparage the father in |
| student of human tendencies, skilled in observation and | | | | front of the son. What I usually do is offer them more |
| interpretation of body language, relationships and voice | | | | effective alternatives. Just telling them that what they |
| inflection. Or you can just take a shot. Either way, your | | | | are doing is wrong is non-productive. I also explain to |
| approach must be one of timidity, humility and timing; | | | | them in simple terms what the consequences can be |
| built on certain basic principles of human interaction if | | | | if the exercises continue to be performed dangerously |
| you are succeed.I will suggest two scenarios: The first | | | | or improperly.A lot of times, I may take the father over |
| takes place in the environment where I train. In this | | | | to the side, depending on the personality type. |
| particular realm, let's assume that a father is training his | | | | Sometimes, to get certain fathers to listen, I have to |
| son to squat using the so called "Smith Rack." This | | | | expound on my credentials, and that usually works. |
| father's own instruction capability may be way | | | | However, there will always be those who don't want |
| over-estimated and he is giving his son poor advice, as | | | | to listen, like the father in Florida who informed me that |
| well as loading the device with much too heavy a | | | | he used to be a bodybuilder, he knew what he was |
| training weight. The kid could blow a knee, back, | | | | doing, and his 11 year old son "needed" to "get more |
| whatever. What do you do?The second scenario is a | | | | mass" in his lats. More often than not, though, I have |
| little different; let's assume that I'm out in the field, or at | | | | come across very appreciative fathers who are |
| the track. I see a dad having junior do repeated depth | | | | grateful that there are people like us out there that |
| jumps from a height equal to the kids waist--around | | | | care enough to help."Rick Karboviak:"This is touchy, |
| belt level. Oh yeah, the kid's also wearing ankle weights | | | | because most parents tend to believe that they are |
| and holding 10 pound dumbbells in each hand. (I wish I | | | | doing absolutely the right thing for their kids. In the case |
| was making this up and hadn't witnessed it first-hand)In | | | | of seeing a father teach his son an incorrect exercise |
| each scenario, the potential for unsolicited advice to | | | | or potentially dangerous one, I'd have to be a |
| blow up in your face is huge. Your approach must be | | | | professional about it and question the father. I would |
| tactful and humble, with an immediate solution to the | | | | ask him if he needed any further assistance in getting |
| situation. Since I have an established presence at the | | | | a strategy lined up for his son's program. This would |
| gym where I do most of my work, I am recognized | | | | be offering help without saying "Hey, you're doing it all |
| and given a certain degree of leeway towards advice | | | | wrong, let me do it right for you." Maybe this guy is |
| giving. In other words, most of the folks in the gym at | | | | just shooting from the hip and doing what some other |
| least know my face and are receptive to my | | | | dad has his son doing? This happens in the gym more |
| approach. At the track, however, it is a different story. | | | | than you think (Face it, how many guys sit & BS by |
| I'm just another strikingly handsome face in the crowd. | | | | the water fountain and exchange myths???).If the dad |
| In either case, in order for you to succeed, you must | | | | is clueless, I |
| do one thing: first establish a relationship. You must find | | | | just found an opportunity to not only get a client, but |
| some sort of common ground, make a friend, allow | | | | save a kid from doing improper things. So, in general, I |
| them to get to know you. You must create some | | | | offer my help in the form of helping this dad out to help |
| degree of rapport. Every good salesman will concur | | | | benefit his son. If there's a dangerous lift being done, I |
| with this statement. Without rapport you are dead in | | | | would take the time to explain the reasons why its not |
| the water. It is a well known fact, and one that I have | | | | the ideal exercise to do for overall athletic |
| preached for many years now: No one cares how | | | | development. If the father is inconsiderate in accepting |
| much you know until they know how much you | | | | my help, I will let him pay for his son's medical bills that |
| care!By spending a little time getting to know Dad and | | | | the kid will accrue from getting injured due to his dad's |
| establishing rapport, you can then ask him, "May I make | | | | ignorance."John Izzo:"I have to admit, I have always |
| a suggestion on what you and Jr. here are doing?" In | | | | been one to walk by ANYONE doing exercises |
| this way, you give him permission to either say "Yes" | | | | incorrectly and leaving them be. My mantra was "let |
| or "No", but it has to be his decision for there to be any | | | | them perish in their own ignorance". And sometimes |
| degree of reception. If Dad says yes, then give it to | | | | my mantra still is that....However, with kids being taught |
| him. If he says no, walk away. Attempting to pound | | | | exercises incorrectly has always brought an awkward |
| your viewpoint into Dad may allow you to have a | | | | feeling to me. A side of me knows the father is trying |
| say-so, but it may also have a detrimental effect the | | | | to bond with his child and really making head-way to |
| child, as Dad's anger is now directed toward him in an | | | | establishing a disciplined and goal oriented child, so I |
| attempt to prove you wrong. Not necessarily, but | | | | usually understand that its the dad that needs my help. |
| maybe.Establish rapport, ask permission, wait for the | | | | What I have done in the past is deliberately perform |
| reply. The formula works, it just has to be | | | | the same exercises in front of the child and father. I |
| applied."Wayne Burwell:"When it comes to family, you | | | | have gotten the glances and looks, and soon |
| don't want a father to lose face in front of his son. In a | | | | enough...the questions. Usually, I am approached while |
| good relationship, that father may be the boy's hero, | | | | the child is at the watrer fountain or locker-room. No |
| and that's why he listens to him. In a bad situation, the | | | | problem. This is the opportunity I was looking for to |
| child could be being forced to do the exercises. Either | | | | build a rapport with dad.What I have also done, was |
| way it's a very delicate situation. How I would | | | | bond with the father and trade old "Arnold" stories. |
| approach it, especially if they are gross movements | | | | Then I would ask to "show" a "harder version" of the |
| that will injure the child?One way would be to offer a | | | | exercise--only to to be accepted into their space. |
| personal training demo. I'm well known in the | | | | Once I have their attention and hopefully, trust, I show |
| community for sports conditioning of young athletes. | | | | them a progression of the exercise they performed |
| For those who aren't already known, it might be more | | | | incorrectly. Once they are in awe of it's variety...I bring |
| difficult, but it's really about your approach. I would start | | | | the exercise back to its original prerequisite and begin |
| with positive comments and praise for the father | | | | my lesson. Seems tricky and deceptive...but it |
| commenting on the fact that he actually has his son | | | | works."Chaney Weiner:The most important thing in |
| active and working out. In addition, I'd likely work on his | | | | approaching anyone doing an exercise incorrectly is to |
| ego by pointing out to him that his son looks like a | | | | NOT insult them or come off as being arrogant. You |
| phenomenal athlete, and I would invite them to a | | | | MUST first develop rapport with them or all is lost no |
| session in order for me to give some pointers on | | | | matter what good intentions you have. |
| strength and conditioning.Dr. Kwame Brown:"This is a | | | | |