Parenting Tips: Beware the "We Parent"

I've been working with teenagers and their parents forthe we parent is usually over-involved in some way.
over 25 years. If I had a buck for every time I've heardWith school and grades, the parent is usually
what I am getting ready to tell you about, I could retire.encouraging and bugging the kid about school and the
How the "we parent" shows upkid is resisting.
While the we parent can show up in any number ofWhat to do?
ways, the most common subject is around school.The we parent comes across as controlling and
Usually the we parent will say something like:over-involved. It's important to remember that the we
"We did not do well in school last year."parent is motivated by love.
"We got a D in geometry."So the next step is to channel that love in a way that
"We skipped school today."works. Many times what that looks like is putting the
Are you getting the pattern?child in charge of school. So then the parent can then
This is when I usually say something like:move on and deal with whatever area of life they
"What a minute, what's this "we" stuff?have been avoiding with the we parent role.
The reason I make a big deal out of this is because