| As a counselor, I have seen many parents run | | | | sometimes parents can get carried away and over |
| themselves ragged trying to be "The Perfect Parent" | | | | extend themselves financially, while trying to give their |
| to their teenager. When their efforts fall short and the | | | | teenager the best life possible. |
| relationship with their teenager is lacking, many parents | | | | The irony is that most teenagers do not necessarily |
| can feel frustrated and disappointed. Here are some | | | | want a lot of money showered on them. Now don't |
| myth busters of how to be the Perfect Parent. | | | | get me wrong, most will accept monetary gifts and |
| In order to have a good relationship with my teenager, I | | | | extravagance. But if a parent is trying to show love by |
| need to: | | | | spending money on them, this very well may backfire. |
| 1. Spend every waking moment with my teenager | | | | Teenagers are quite keen at being able to distinguish |
| Somehow there is a lofty thought that a good | | | | between authentic affection and purchased admiration. |
| relationship with teenagers begins with spending all day, | | | | 4. Know the answers to all of their questions |
| every day with them. As if "Perfect Parents" are the | | | | As a parent, we want to be the "go to person" for our |
| ones that spend all of their free time with their | | | | teenager. However, some parents assume filling this |
| teenagers, filling their days shopping at the mall, or | | | | position means they have to be the knowledgeable |
| working gleefully together in the back yard. | | | | sage for all of life's problems. As if their inability to give |
| Yes, and no! Spending time with their parents is | | | | an answer is equivalent to being a failure as a parent. |
| something that most teenagers really want, and enjoy | | | | Horse Hockey! What is a parent to do? Find someone |
| doing. However, teenagers also crave their | | | | that may know the answer. Being able to point your |
| independence. It is better to find a time and consistently | | | | teenager into the right direction will encourage self |
| meet with them, than to try to overcrowd your | | | | determination, and it will show that you are listening and |
| teenager. As in the end, this can drive a teenager | | | | taking their questions seriously. |
| crazy. | | | | 5. Be the "cool" parent |
| 2. Have a serious discourse of the philosophy of life | | | | Many parents attempt to be the "cool" parent that |
| every morning. | | | | blends into the teenage crowd. They dress the part, |
| Mornings can be a difficult time of the day for parents | | | | listen to the same music as their teenager, and even |
| and teenagers. Hurried parents are often trying to get | | | | try to pick up the current slang of the day. While the |
| their just woken up teenagers out the door, usually | | | | intention of wanting to connect to the teenage world is |
| with some sort of half - eaten pastry hanging out of | | | | noble, often this can result in embarrassment for both |
| their mouths. | | | | you and your teenager. |
| Save the in depth philosophical discussions for a time | | | | Instead, just be yourself. This is not to say that as a |
| when there are no distractions. Make the mornings as | | | | parent your dress attire cannot be current and |
| smooth as possible. For many people, how they start | | | | contemporary. Nor that you cannot share any similar |
| their morning will determine their mood for the | | | | taste in music or popular culture with your teenager. |
| remainder of the day. | | | | However, the rule of thumb is authenticity rather than |
| 3. Use every last penny of my paycheck for my | | | | resorting to becoming an adolescent yourself by trying |
| teenager's every whim | | | | to "fit in." You would probably find that your teenager's |
| Parents want the best for their teenagers, and enjoy | | | | respect for you is not based in what you wear, but in |
| being able give their teenagers those gifts and gadgets | | | | who you are. |
| they did not have during their adolescence. However, | | | | |