| Cervantes said, "Faint heart ne'er won fair lady." As a | | | | bully or a brat, which, while more likely with a frustrated, |
| matter of fact, a faint heart never won much of | | | | inadequately-parented, passive child, can happen. |
| anything. But put a little determination and will into that | | | | Without committed parents, a strong-willed child can |
| heart, and it can shoot the moon. What you hear, | | | | run amok and create all kinds of chaos. Raising these |
| though, is that parents should prefer the faint heart, | | | | kids is bracing and a lot of fun, but it ain't easy. The |
| that is, the passive heart. It's promoted as the answer | | | | parents need to be grownups. They need to be |
| to their prayers. Authors make fortunes with books | | | | parents who realize being a parent is different from |
| bemoaning the problem of strong-willed children. They | | | | being a buddy. Parents who accept the fact that |
| preach passive, all day, every day. Parents, they | | | | raising kids means it's about the kids. Parents willing to |
| decree, need to break their children's will-or at least | | | | do the right thing when it's not the easy thing. Parents |
| their willfulness. Are these people kidding? Passive isn't | | | | whose lives set an example to follow. Parents who |
| wonderful. Passive is lumpy, as in "sit there like a lump." | | | | understand that strong-willed children usually don't "fit in" |
| Passive hardly makes a dent in the world, let alone | | | | all that well because they are, in fact, exceptional. All |
| changes it. Passive sits by and lets life happen, | | | | kids, but especially strong-willed children, need to know |
| whether for good or ill. Passive is easy to ignore, easy | | | | they're loved "just because." It's not about |
| to take advantage of and easy to exclude. If watching | | | | performance, although self-control and good behavior |
| your child be mistaken for the wallpaper sounds good, | | | | are good. It's not about being better than others, which |
| work on the passivity level. If you like the idea of your | | | | is a calculation for losers. In fact, it's not about a lot of |
| children not speaking up when others take advantage | | | | things. It's about raising emotionally, physically and |
| of them, by all means, push passivity. Passive kids | | | | spiritually healthy children, confident that the strong will |
| spend junior high crammed in their lockers, if that | | | | so many people fear will give them the gumption to |
| appeals to you. The absolute fact is, a strong-willed | | | | face life with enthusiasm and courage. Keeping up |
| child is exactly what we should want. Strong enough | | | | with-or even harder, staying ahead of-the strong-willed |
| to fend off peer pressure. Strong enough to set good | | | | child takes determination, creativity and energy. And |
| goals and work toward accomplishment. Strong | | | | humor. Lots of humor. They'll put you on your knees, in |
| enough to put off current, brief pleasures for better, | | | | prayer or exhaustion or both. Fortunately, the prize is |
| long-lasting rewards. A strong will creates a | | | | worth the effort. © Copyright 2007 by Bette |
| determination that grabs life by the throat and makes it | | | | Dowdell. All rights reserved. |
| happen. Channeled for good, it can make wonderful | | | | Bette Dowdell, mother of strong-willed children, now |
| things happen. Unchanneled, the optimism and good | | | | grown, worked with computers for years and also |
| cheer that come from being born with the ability to | | | | taught the Bible, including teaching serious theology to |
| make decisions can get lost. You could end up with a | | | | grade school children, not a job for sissies. |