| Raising children is both exhilarating and | | | | make certain decisions. This will allow your |
| exhausting. There are times when even the | | | | children to understand and they will be more |
| seasoned veterans need a little parenting | | | | likely to comply. It will also aid them in |
| advice. Many parents lack the self esteem to | | | | developing their own reasoning skills. |
| trust their own judgment when it come to | | | | |
| raising their children. They just need a | | | | Actively participate in activities with your |
| little backup. With all the parenting books, | | | | children that extend outside of the home. Go |
| videos and classes available, parents have a | | | | places with them, have family nights which |
| plethora of parenting resources available. | | | | may involve dinner and a movie. Also, |
| The question is, which type of parenting | | | | schedule some one-on-one time with each |
| resource works for me and for my child? | | | | child. This will enrich your relationship |
| | | | with your children and is a great esteem |
| We are all different, every child as well as | | | | builder for the child. |
| every parent. With this in mind, you should | | | | |
| choose your sources for parenting advice | | | | Watch how you phrase your directions to your |
| carefully keeping your child's needs, your | | | | children. Don't ask, tell. There are ways |
| family's needs and your needs in sight. The | | | | to handle giving directions that don't make |
| best thing you can do is review all the | | | | you sound like a dictator, bossing them to |
| solutions to find what may work for you. It | | | | "do this" and "do that." You should begin |
| may involve some trial and error at first, | | | | your instruction in such as way that is firm |
| but you can find parenting resources that are | | | | but not offensive. Instead of "take out the |
| right for you. | | | | trash," try, "Jimmy, I need you to take out |
| | | | the trash before you go outside, please." |
| There are some basic parenting tips that | | | | You have instructed what must be done, set a |
| apply to most any situation and most | | | | boundary and said please. The child feels |
| families. You may want to start here. | | | | more respected. And don't forget to say |
| | | | thank you when he does the task per your |
| Tell your children that you love them. Don't | | | | specifications. If he does it, but it was |
| just buy them things and hope that they get | | | | done poorly or he missed something, deliver |
| the message. "Stuff" does not replace the | | | | the criticism using the "sandwich method." |
| love of a parent. Tell them and show them | | | | Begin with something positive about the job |
| with lots of hugs. | | | | he did, "You took out the trash in the |
| | | | kitchen and even picked up the trash that had |
| Get involved in your children's lives. Know | | | | fallen on the floor. Thanks!" Follow that |
| where they go, who they go with, what they | | | | with the criticism, "But I needed you to get |
| do. Know their friends, know what they like | | | | the trash in the bathroom as well. Go ahead |
| and dislike. Attend their concerts, sporting | | | | and grab that now, please." Then follow with |
| event, plays and other activities. Show your | | | | another positive comment, "I really |
| children that you are interested in them. | | | | appreciate that you are so cooperative when I |
| | | | ask you to do something." It is an old |
| Get your children involved in family | | | | management technique that works great with |
| discussions. Allow them to offer input on | | | | kids. |
| family decisions, help find solutions to | | | | |
| family problems and offer suggestions for | | | | Network with other parents and you will |
| family activities and rules. This will make | | | | likely be surprised to find that they too |
| you child feel like a valued family member | | | | share many of your joys and frustrations as a |
| and increase their self esteem. | | | | parent with their own children. Other |
| | | | parents can be great parenting resources and |
| Don't fall into the "because I said so" or | | | | can direct you to parenting books, videos or |
| "because I am the parent" trap. Explain to | | | | other resources to help you become a better |
| your children why you set certain rules or | | | | parent. |