| There are Five Safety Secrets that truly make kids | | | | choices and the benefits of making good choices for |
| safe. These Secrets set the foundation of true safety | | | | themselves. It is what safe kids are all about. |
| for a lifetime in children, and can do the same for your | | | | Secret #3: Catch Them Being Good. |
| child. | | | | When your child makes a bad choice, it's important for |
| These Secrets will also surprise you. They work | | | | you to stay calm about it. Yes, this is easier said then |
| quietly and effectively beneath the surface of your | | | | done. However, it is critical in your child's ability to keep |
| child's brain. If you use these Five Secrets, they will | | | | themselves safe, that you learn to take their mistakes |
| make any safety technique that much more effective. | | | | in stride. |
| Without these Five Safety Secrets, your child will | | | | You have to spend more time and energy catching |
| never be able to keep themselves safe. Ever. | | | | your child being good. |
| Secret #1: Confidence. | | | | A subtle prodding towards better choices is more |
| Confidence and a positive self image are crucial in | | | | effective than highlighting, in a big emotional way, any |
| good child safety. Confident kids are less of a target | | | | bad choice they make for themselves. If you have to |
| for sexual predators. Not only do they stand taller and | | | | highlight negative behavior, be very careful in saying, |
| keep their heads up higher, they represent a problem, | | | | "That was a bad choice," rather than "You are bad." |
| a less than easy victim for sexual predators. | | | | Take care to say, "You can make better choices," |
| Confident kids project "struggle" for any predator | | | | instead of saying, "How stupid!" Things like, "You're a |
| trolling for kids and more often than not, predators will | | | | great kid but that choice could have been better," |
| pass them by. More often, predators will choose kids | | | | keeps your child's image of themselves solid and |
| that appear weak and sad, a child in need of a friend. | | | | highlights the choice only, not them, as being bad. Your |
| These are the kids that hang their heads, shuffle down | | | | child is good, the choice is bad. |
| the street and have a hard time looking anyone in the | | | | Building confidence, building a solid self image in your |
| eye when they talk to them. | | | | child, builds safety. Capitalize on this and highlight the |
| Confidence is a powerful deterrent. | | | | good things they do more often than the bad things. |
| And yet, there is something more, something deeper | | | | As a matter of fact, focus on highlighting as many |
| when your child is confident. Confident kids display | | | | good things as you can rather than making a big deal |
| certain structural changes, physical changes in their | | | | about the bad things they may do. |
| bodies that serve them better than kids that have poor | | | | Catch Them Being Good. |
| self-images. Confident kids can control their physical | | | | Positive reinforcement is a much stronger teaching tool |
| movements a little bit better. At the same time, they | | | | and technique for child safety than negative |
| can move more quickly and with finer control of those | | | | reinforcement. Praise your child when you see them |
| movements. We find confident kids can actually focus | | | | doing good behaviors. Lavish the praise and adulation |
| better mentally and for longer periods of time. | | | | onto them when they do really great things. This is also |
| In other words, these kids are better equipped | | | | positive mentoring. This is channeling your child into |
| physically, mentally and emotionally to learn the actual | | | | learning how to make good, solid and positive choices |
| safety techniques that could save them from sexual | | | | for themselves. It builds and fosters that ever-so-critical |
| predators than kids that feel bad about themselves. | | | | confidence in themselves. |
| Kids that hang their head, shuffle around, are tired or ill, | | | | It is easier to notice the bad behavior. We are tuned |
| cannot move with as much control or quickness or | | | | by society to notice the negative and bad things |
| think as clearly as kids that are healthy and confident. | | | | people do. It is very easy to notice the bad things your |
| A high degree of self confidence and a positive self | | | | child does. It is a focus of many parents, naturally. |
| image matter in good child safety. | | | | Reverse the trend and make your focal point the |
| Secret #2: Empowerment. | | | | things your child does well. Positive reinforcement will |
| Empowering your child to take care of themselves is | | | | teach your child to repeat those behaviors you want |
| one of the most powerful Safety Secret you can | | | | and make it easier for you to guide them into those |
| learn. | | | | good choices. |
| When you empower your child, you truly teach them | | | | Secret #4: Listening. |
| to make choices for themselves. When you mentor | | | | Another crucial Secret in teaching kids to be safe is to |
| them as a parent you actually guide them into learning | | | | let them know you are listening to them. |
| to make good, positive choices for themselves on their | | | | Listening to your child goes beyond the standard, "Yep. |
| own. When they can do this, they will truly be safe for | | | | Un huh. Sure." These kinds of responses they get daily. |
| a lifetime. | | | | True listening, the kind that allows your child to feel like |
| In its simplest form, empowerment means your child | | | | they are really being heard and understood, is a special |
| feels like they have a measure of control over their | | | | parenting skill. |
| life. They feel they can make their own decisions. Most | | | | Listening to your child happens in two ways: one, you |
| kids don't feel this ability. Most kids do not have it, | | | | allow them to say what they need to say, in their |
| either. Parents and adults are constantly making | | | | words, in their way, however they want to say it. It |
| decisions for children: | | | | may be challenging to follow this advice, especially |
| -When to eat | | | | when your child speaks in disjointed sentences or |
| -What to eat | | | | jumbled words. They may take 5 or 10 minutes out of |
| -When to get up | | | | your busy day, but just let them talk without interrupting |
| -When to go to sleep | | | | them. You can tell when it is important versus when |
| -Where to go | | | | they are just mumbling or making noise. Sit and listen to |
| -Who to go with | | | | them. Take the time, make the time. |
| -What to do | | | | Two, listen to what they say without judgment. Even if |
| The list can go on endlessly. Life for a child can feel | | | | you do not like what you hear, even if you feel upset |
| completely out of their control. Kids will engage in a | | | | by what you hear, listen to it. Be quiet, look them in the |
| struggle with their parents to get some control of their | | | | eyes with your full attention and simply listen to them. |
| lives. In doing so it usually comes across as conflict. | | | | Your child is coming to you. They need your attention. |
| -No! I don't want to go! | | | | They believe at that moment you will listen to them. Do |
| -I don't like that! | | | | it. Reserve judgment and negative feelings about what |
| -I'm not eating that! | | | | they are saying for another time. |
| -Stop it! | | | | When you do this you are building on the future, on |
| -I don't want to! | | | | your child's safety. They need to feel, deep inside, they |
| -Leave me alone! | | | | can tell you about anything. They need the security of |
| The Secret to empowering your child, even at the | | | | knowing you will listen to them and what they have to |
| youngest of ages, is in giving them their own choices | | | | say. If your child is threatened in any way, they will |
| to make. Give them alternatives to situations in their | | | | need to come to you, Mom or Dad, and tell you. That |
| lives, let them make some of their own choices. | | | | rapport and comfort for them needs to be established |
| This too, can be pretty simple. For example, instead of | | | | at a young age. You start by simply listening to them. |
| serving them broccoli, ask them to choose between | | | | Secret #5: Repetition. |
| carrots, peas or broccoli or another vegetable. Give | | | | This last Secret is probably the most important of all. |
| them a choice to make instead of just putting one on | | | | You must use it and apply it, day in and day out at |
| their plate. Instead of the green dress, ask your | | | | home. |
| daughter which one she would like to wear. Instead of | | | | True learning for your child comes with repetition. That |
| forcing your child into the brown shoes, ask them | | | | is your job. You need to do it at home. |
| which ones they would like to put on today. | | | | Repetition does not need to be boring, either. Make |
| These are pretty simple examples, but this about as | | | | games out of things you want to teach. Use fun |
| easy as it gets in empowering your child. Giving your | | | | words and phrases your child uses when talking about |
| child choices is crucial in their development. It is crucial in | | | | safety. Fold in your child's favorite toys, cartoon |
| their ability to keep themselves safe, too. | | | | characters or things they like into activities you do |
| Making choices matters to kids. When you do this | | | | several times a week. These are simple yet exciting |
| simple, easy thing, miracles will happen within them. An | | | | skills for reinforcement activities. It's repetition with |
| empowered child starts to feel good about | | | | excitement. What a great way to learn for any child! |
| themselves. And what would consistent, good feelings | | | | Working with our techniques is also something to do a |
| about themselves lead to? Confidence! | | | | few times a week. Stay away from daily practice |
| Will your child always make good choices for | | | | routines as if this was a sport as this is the surest way |
| themselves? No. That is where you, Mom and Dad, | | | | to bore your child and lose their attention. |
| come into the picture. You, as a mentor to your child, | | | | Make learning safety fun. Make it exciting. Fold in the |
| can guide them through the array of choices they will | | | | whole family and enjoy learning about true safety for |
| face. You can guide them and teach them about good | | | | a lifetime together. |