| There are Five Safety Secrets that truly
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| | Secret #3: Catch Them Being Good.
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| make kids safe. These Secrets set the
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| | When your child makes a bad choice, it's
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| foundation of true safety for a lifetime
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| | important for you to stay calm about it.
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| in children, and can do the same for your
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| | Yes, this is easier said then done.
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| child.
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| | However, it is critical in your child's
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| These Secrets will also surprise you.
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| | ability to keep themselves safe, that you
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| They work quietly and effectively beneath
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| | learn to take their mistakes in stride.
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| the surface of your child's brain. If you
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| | You have to spend more time and energy
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| use these Five Secrets, they will make
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| | catching your child being good.
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| any safety technique that much more
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| | A subtle prodding towards better choices
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| effective. Without these Five Safety
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| | is more effective than highlighting, in a
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| Secrets, your child will never be able to
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| | big emotional way, any bad choice they
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| keep themselves safe. Ever.
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| | make for themselves. If you have to
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| Secret #1: Confidence.
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| | highlight negative behavior, be very
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| Confidence and a positive self image are
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| | careful in saying, "That was a bad
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| crucial in good child safety. Confident
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| | choice," rather than "You are bad." Take
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| kids are less of a target for sexual
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| | care to say, "You can make better
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| predators. Not only do they stand taller
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| | choices," instead of saying, "How
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| and keep their heads up higher, they
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| | stupid!" Things like, "You're a great kid
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| represent a problem, a less than easy
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| | but that choice could have been better,"
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| victim for sexual predators.
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| | keeps your child's image of themselves
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| Confident kids project "struggle" for any
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| | solid and highlights the choice only, not
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| predator trolling for kids and more often
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| | them, as being bad. Your child is good,
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| than not, predators will pass them by.
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| | the choice is bad.
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| More often, predators will choose kids
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| | Building confidence, building a solid
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| that appear weak and sad, a child in need
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| | self image in your child, builds safety.
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| of a friend. These are the kids that hang
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| | Capitalize on this and highlight the good
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| their heads, shuffle down the street and
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| | things they do more often than the bad
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| have a hard time looking anyone in the
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| | things. As a matter of fact, focus on
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| eye when they talk to them.
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| | highlighting as many good things as you
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| Confidence is a powerful deterrent.
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| | can rather than making a big deal about
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| And yet, there is something more,
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| | the bad things they may do.
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| something deeper when your child is
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| | Catch Them Being Good.
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| confident. Confident kids display certain
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| | Positive reinforcement is a much stronger
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| structural changes, physical changes in
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| | teaching tool and technique for child
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| their bodies that serve them better than
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| | safety than negative reinforcement.
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| kids that have poor self-images.
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| | Praise your child when you see them doing
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| Confident kids can control their physical
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| | good behaviors. Lavish the praise and
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| movements a little bit better. At the
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| | adulation onto them when they do really
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| same time, they can move more quickly and
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| | great things. This is also positive
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| with finer control of those movements. We
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| | mentoring. This is channeling your child
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| find confident kids can actually focus
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| | into learning how to make good, solid and
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| better mentally and for longer periods of
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| | positive choices for themselves. It
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| time.
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| | builds and fosters that ever-so-critical
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| In other words, these kids are better
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| | confidence in themselves.
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| equipped physically, mentally and
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| | It is easier to notice the bad behavior.
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| emotionally to learn the actual safety
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| | We are tuned by society to notice the
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| techniques that could save them from
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| | negative and bad things people do. It is
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| sexual predators than kids that feel bad
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| | very easy to notice the bad things your
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| about themselves. Kids that hang their
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| | child does. It is a focus of many
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| head, shuffle around, are tired or ill,
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| | parents, naturally. Reverse the trend and
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| cannot move with as much control or
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| | make your focal point the things your
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| quickness or think as clearly as kids
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| | child does well. Positive reinforcement
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| that are healthy and confident. A high
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| | will teach your child to repeat those
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| degree of self confidence and a positive
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| | behaviors you want and make it easier for
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| self image matter in good child safety.
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| | you to guide them into those good
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| Secret #2: Empowerment.
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| | choices.
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| Empowering your child to take care of
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| | Secret #4: Listening.
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| themselves is one of the most powerful
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| | Another crucial Secret in teaching kids
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| Safety Secret you can learn.
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| | to be safe is to let them know you are
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| When you empower your child, you truly
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| | listening to them.
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| teach them to make choices for
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| | Listening to your child goes beyond the
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| themselves. When you mentor them as a
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| | standard, "Yep. Un huh. Sure." These
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| parent you actually guide them into
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| | kinds of responses they get daily. True
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| learning to make good, positive choices
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| | listening, the kind that allows your
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| for themselves on their own. When they
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| | child to feel like they are really being
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| can do this, they will truly be safe for
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| | heard and understood, is a special
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| a lifetime.
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| | parenting skill.
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| In its simplest form, empowerment means
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| | Listening to your child happens in two
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| your child feels like they have a measure
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| | ways: one, you allow them to say what
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| of control over their life. They feel
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| | they need to say, in their words, in
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| they can make their own decisions. Most
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| | their way, however they want to say it.
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| kids don't feel this ability. Most kids
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| | It may be challenging to follow this
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| do not have it, either. Parents and
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| | advice, especially when your child speaks
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| adults are constantly making decisions
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| | in disjointed sentences or jumbled words.
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| for children:
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| | They may take 5 or 10 minutes out of your
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| -When to eat
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| | busy day, but just let them talk without
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| -What to eat
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| | interrupting them. You can tell when it
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| -When to get up
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| | is important versus when they are just
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| -When to go to sleep
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| | mumbling or making noise. Sit and listen
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| -Where to go
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| | to them. Take the time, make the time.
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| -Who to go with
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| | Two, listen to what they say without
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| -What to do
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| | judgment. Even if you do not like what
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| The list can go on endlessly. Life for a
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| | you hear, even if you feel upset by what
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| child can feel completely out of their
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| | you hear, listen to it. Be quiet, look
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| control. Kids will engage in a struggle
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| | them in the eyes with your full attention
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| with their parents to get some control of
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| | and simply listen to them.
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| their lives. In doing so it usually comes
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| | Your child is coming to you. They need
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| across as conflict.
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| | your attention. They believe at that
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| -No! I don't want to go!
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| | moment you will listen to them. Do it.
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| -I don't like that!
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| | Reserve judgment and negative feelings
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| -I'm not eating that!
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| | about what they are saying for another
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| -Stop it!
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| | time.
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| -I don't want to!
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| | When you do this you are building on the
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| -Leave me alone!
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| | future, on your child's safety. They need
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| The Secret to empowering your child, even
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| | to feel, deep inside, they can tell you
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| at the youngest of ages, is in giving
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| | about anything. They need the security of
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| them their own choices to make. Give them
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| | knowing you will listen to them and what
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| alternatives to situations in their
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| | they have to say. If your child is
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| lives, let them make some of their own
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| | threatened in any way, they will need to
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| choices.
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| | come to you, Mom or Dad, and tell you.
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| This too, can be pretty simple. For
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| | That rapport and comfort for them needs
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| example, instead of serving them
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| | to be established at a young age. You
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| broccoli, ask them to choose between
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| | start by simply listening to them.
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| carrots, peas or broccoli or another
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| | Secret #5: Repetition.
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| vegetable. Give them a choice to make
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| | This last Secret is probably the most
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| instead of just putting one on their
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| | important of all. You must use it and
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| plate. Instead of the green dress, ask
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| | apply it, day in and day out at home.
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| your daughter which one she would like to
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| | True learning for your child comes with
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| wear. Instead of forcing your child into
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| | repetition. That is your job. You need to
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| the brown shoes, ask them which ones they
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| | do it at home.
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| would like to put on today.
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| | Repetition does not need to be boring,
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| These are pretty simple examples, but
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| | either. Make games out of things you want
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| this about as easy as it gets in
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| | to teach. Use fun words and phrases your
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| empowering your child. Giving your child
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| | child uses when talking about safety.
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| choices is crucial in their development.
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| | Fold in your child's favorite toys,
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| It is crucial in their ability to keep
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| | cartoon characters or things they like
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| themselves safe, too.
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| | into activities you do several times a
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| Making choices matters to kids. When you
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| | week. These are simple yet exciting
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| do this simple, easy thing, miracles will
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| | skills for reinforcement activities. It's
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| happen within them. An empowered child
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| | repetition with excitement. What a great
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| starts to feel good about themselves. And
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| | way to learn for any child!
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| what would consistent, good feelings
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| | Working with our techniques is also
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| about themselves lead to? Confidence!
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| | something to do a few times a week. Stay
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| Will your child always make good choices
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| | away from daily practice routines as if
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| for themselves? No. That is where you,
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| | this was a sport as this is the surest
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| Mom and Dad, come into the picture. You,
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| | way to bore your child and lose their
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| as a mentor to your child, can guide them
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| | attention.
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| through the array of choices they will
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| | Make learning safety fun. Make it
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| face. You can guide them and teach them
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| | exciting. Fold in the whole family and
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| about good choices and the benefits of
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| | enjoy learning about true safety for a
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| making good choices for themselves. It is
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| | lifetime together.
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| what safe kids are all about.
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