| There are Five Safety Secrets that truly make | | | | guide them and teach them about good choices |
| kids safe. These Secrets set the foundation | | | | and the benefits of making good choices for |
| of true safety for a lifetime in children, | | | | themselves. It is what safe kids are all |
| and can do the same for your child. | | | | about. |
| | | | |
| These Secrets will also surprise you. They | | | | Secret #3: Catch Them Being Good. |
| work quietly and effectively beneath the | | | | |
| surface of your child's brain. If you use | | | | When your child makes a bad choice, it's |
| these Five Secrets, they will make any safety | | | | important for you to stay calm about it. Yes, |
| technique that much more effective. Without | | | | this is easier said then done. However, it is |
| these Five Safety Secrets, your child will | | | | critical in your child's ability to keep |
| never be able to keep themselves safe. Ever. | | | | themselves safe, that you learn to take their |
| | | | mistakes in stride. |
| Secret #1: Confidence. | | | | |
| | | | You have to spend more time and energy |
| Confidence and a positive self image are | | | | catching your child being good. |
| crucial in good child safety. Confident kids | | | | |
| are less of a target for sexual predators. | | | | A subtle prodding towards better choices is |
| Not only do they stand taller and keep their | | | | more effective than highlighting, in a big |
| heads up higher, they represent a problem, a | | | | emotional way, any bad choice they make for |
| less than easy victim for sexual predators. | | | | themselves. If you have to highlight negative |
| | | | behavior, be very careful in saying, "That |
| Confident kids project "struggle" for any | | | | was a bad choice," rather than "You are bad." |
| predator trolling for kids and more often | | | | Take care to say, "You can make better |
| than not, predators will pass them by. More | | | | choices," instead of saying, "How stupid!" |
| often, predators will choose kids that appear | | | | Things like, "You're a great kid but that |
| weak and sad, a child in need of a friend. | | | | choice could have been better," keeps your |
| These are the kids that hang their heads, | | | | child's image of themselves solid and |
| shuffle down the street and have a hard time | | | | highlights the choice only, not them, as |
| looking anyone in the eye when they talk to | | | | being bad. Your child is good, the choice is |
| them. | | | | bad. |
| | | | |
| Confidence is a powerful deterrent. | | | | Building confidence, building a solid self |
| | | | image in your child, builds safety. |
| And yet, there is something more, something | | | | Capitalize on this and highlight the good |
| deeper when your child is confident. | | | | things they do more often than the bad |
| Confident kids display certain structural | | | | things. As a matter of fact, focus on |
| changes, physical changes in their bodies | | | | highlighting as many good things as you can |
| that serve them better than kids that have | | | | rather than making a big deal about the bad |
| poor self-images. Confident kids can control | | | | things they may do. |
| their physical movements a little bit better. | | | | |
| At the same time, they can move more quickly | | | | Catch Them Being Good. |
| and with finer control of those movements. We | | | | |
| find confident kids can actually focus better | | | | Positive reinforcement is a much stronger |
| mentally and for longer periods of time. | | | | teaching tool and technique for child safety |
| | | | than negative reinforcement. Praise your |
| In other words, these kids are better | | | | child when you see them doing good behaviors. |
| equipped physically, mentally and emotionally | | | | Lavish the praise and adulation onto them |
| to learn the actual safety techniques that | | | | when they do really great things. This is |
| could save them from sexual predators than | | | | also positive mentoring. This is channeling |
| kids that feel bad about themselves. Kids | | | | your child into learning how to make good, |
| that hang their head, shuffle around, are | | | | solid and positive choices for themselves. It |
| tired or ill, cannot move with as much | | | | builds and fosters that ever-so-critical |
| control or quickness or think as clearly as | | | | confidence in themselves. |
| kids that are healthy and confident. A high | | | | |
| degree of self confidence and a positive self | | | | It is easier to notice the bad behavior. We |
| image matter in good child safety. | | | | are tuned by society to notice the negative |
| | | | and bad things people do. It is very easy to |
| Secret #2: Empowerment. | | | | notice the bad things your child does. It is |
| | | | a focus of many parents, naturally. Reverse |
| Empowering your child to take care of | | | | the trend and make your focal point the |
| themselves is one of the most powerful Safety | | | | things your child does well. Positive |
| Secret you can learn. | | | | reinforcement will teach your child to repeat |
| | | | those behaviors you want and make it easier |
| When you empower your child, you truly teach | | | | for you to guide them into those good |
| them to make choices for themselves. When you | | | | choices. |
| mentor them as a parent you actually guide | | | | |
| them into learning to make good, positive | | | | Secret #4: Listening. |
| choices for themselves on their own. When | | | | |
| they can do this, they will truly be safe for | | | | Another crucial Secret in teaching kids to be |
| a lifetime. | | | | safe is to let them know you are listening to |
| | | | them. |
| In its simplest form, empowerment means your | | | | |
| child feels like they have a measure of | | | | Listening to your child goes beyond the |
| control over their life. They feel they can | | | | standard, "Yep. Un huh. Sure." These kinds of |
| make their own decisions. Most kids don't | | | | responses they get daily. True listening, the |
| feel this ability. Most kids do not have it, | | | | kind that allows your child to feel like they |
| either. Parents and adults are constantly | | | | are really being heard and understood, is a |
| making decisions for children: | | | | special parenting skill. |
| | | | |
| -When to eat | | | | Listening to your child happens in two ways: |
| | | | one, you allow them to say what they need to |
| -What to eat | | | | say, in their words, in their way, however |
| | | | they want to say it. It may be challenging to |
| -When to get up | | | | follow this advice, especially when your |
| | | | child speaks in disjointed sentences or |
| -When to go to sleep | | | | jumbled words. They may take 5 or 10 minutes |
| | | | out of your busy day, but just let them talk |
| -Where to go | | | | without interrupting them. You can tell when |
| | | | it is important versus when they are just |
| -Who to go with | | | | mumbling or making noise. Sit and listen to |
| | | | them. Take the time, make the time. |
| -What to do | | | | |
| | | | Two, listen to what they say without |
| The list can go on endlessly. Life for a | | | | judgment. Even if you do not like what you |
| child can feel completely out of their | | | | hear, even if you feel upset by what you |
| control. Kids will engage in a struggle with | | | | hear, listen to it. Be quiet, look them in |
| their parents to get some control of their | | | | the eyes with your full attention and simply |
| lives. In doing so it usually comes across as | | | | listen to them. |
| conflict. | | | | |
| | | | Your child is coming to you. They need your |
| -No! I don't want to go! | | | | attention. They believe at that moment you |
| | | | will listen to them. Do it. Reserve judgment |
| -I don't like that! | | | | and negative feelings about what they are |
| | | | saying for another time. |
| -I'm not eating that! | | | | |
| | | | When you do this you are building on the |
| -Stop it! | | | | future, on your child's safety. They need to |
| | | | feel, deep inside, they can tell you about |
| -I don't want to! | | | | anything. They need the security of knowing |
| | | | you will listen to them and what they have to |
| -Leave me alone! | | | | say. If your child is threatened in any way, |
| | | | they will need to come to you, Mom or Dad, |
| The Secret to empowering your child, even at | | | | and tell you. That rapport and comfort for |
| the youngest of ages, is in giving them their | | | | them needs to be established at a young age. |
| own choices to make. Give them alternatives | | | | You start by simply listening to them. |
| to situations in their lives, let them make | | | | |
| some of their own choices. | | | | Secret #5: Repetition. |
| | | | |
| This too, can be pretty simple. For example, | | | | This last Secret is probably the most |
| instead of serving them broccoli, ask them to | | | | important of all. You must use it and apply |
| choose between carrots, peas or broccoli or | | | | it, day in and day out at home. |
| another vegetable. Give them a choice to make | | | | |
| instead of just putting one on their plate. | | | | True learning for your child comes with |
| Instead of the green dress, ask your daughter | | | | repetition. That is your job. You need to do |
| which one she would like to wear. Instead of | | | | it at home. |
| forcing your child into the brown shoes, ask | | | | |
| them which ones they would like to put on | | | | Repetition does not need to be boring, |
| today. | | | | either. Make games out of things you want to |
| | | | teach. Use fun words and phrases your child |
| These are pretty simple examples, but this | | | | uses when talking about safety. Fold in your |
| about as easy as it gets in empowering your | | | | child's favorite toys, cartoon characters or |
| child. Giving your child choices is crucial | | | | things they like into activities you do |
| in their development. It is crucial in their | | | | several times a week. These are simple yet |
| ability to keep themselves safe, too. | | | | exciting skills for reinforcement activities. |
| | | | It's repetition with excitement. What a great |
| Making choices matters to kids. When you do | | | | way to learn for any child! |
| this simple, easy thing, miracles will happen | | | | |
| within them. An empowered child starts to | | | | Working with our techniques is also something |
| feel good about themselves. And what would | | | | to do a few times a week. Stay away from |
| consistent, good feelings about themselves | | | | daily practice routines as if this was a |
| lead to? Confidence! | | | | sport as this is the surest way to bore your |
| | | | child and lose their attention. |
| Will your child always make good choices for | | | | |
| themselves? No. That is where you, Mom and | | | | Make learning safety fun. Make it exciting. |
| Dad, come into the picture. You, as a mentor | | | | Fold in the whole family and enjoy learning |
| to your child, can guide them through the | | | | about true safety for a lifetime together. |
| array of choices they will face. You can | | | | |