Do You Know Your Parenting Style?

Want to be a better parent? Knowing what your"unconditional" in the worst sense of the word, for they
current parenting style is will help you identify yourset few rules or limits on what their children do.
needed areas forimprovement. Promoting theResearch has shown that permissive parents tend to
self-discipline and self-esteem of the children in yourproduce children who are more immature, demanding
family often requires an emotional juggling act by youand dependent. These children are often rejected by
as a parent. It is not easy to be firm and demandingtheir peers. Their self-esteem is often unrealistic and
with a child one minute, then warm and affectionatehard to interpret, for they often blame others for their
the next. This is an ongoing education process both forproblems and misfortunes.
the parent and for the child. In addition, many adultsThe Authoritative Parenting Model
naturally have personalities or temperaments thatParents who are able to provide for both the discipline
predispose them toward one parenting style orand self-esteem needs of their youngsters are
another.referred to as authoritative. They clearly communicate
Authoritarian Parentinghigh-but not unrealistic-demands for their children's
Parents who tend to overemphasize the discipline sidebehavior. They expect good things from their kids and
of the equation are referred to as authoritarian.reinforce those things when they occur. They also
Authoritarian parents are demanding in the worsttend to give more positive encouragement at the right
sense of the word. They are intimidators, requiringplaces. When kids act up, on the other hand,
obedience and respect above all else. They becomeauthoritative parents respond with firm limits, but
overly angry and forceful when they don't get thatwithout fits of temper. They are warm, reasonable and
obedience and respect. Their love and acceptancesensitive to a child's needs. They are supportive of a
appear totally conditional to the child. They do notchild's individuality and encourage growing
teach or listen to their kids or explain the reason forindependence.
their expectations, which are frequently unrealistic.Authoritative parents tend to produce competent
They often see their children's individuality andchildren. These kids are more self-reliant, self-controlled,
independence as irrelevant or threatening.content and happy. They are usually accepted and
Research has shown that authoritarian parents tend towell-liked by their peers and perform better in school.
produce children who are more withdrawn, anxious,Their self-esteem is good and they report having a
mistrustful and discontented. These children are oftenhappier childhood experience overall.
overlooked by their peers. Their self-esteem is oftenWhere Do You Need Work as a Parent?
poor.Logic and research, then, support the idea that children
Permissive Parentingneed both firm discipline and emotional support to grow
Parents who overemphasize the self-esteem side ofup psychologically healthy. After reading the
the equation are referred to as permissive. They maydescriptions of the parenting styles above, if you found
be warm and supportive, but they are not goodthat you leaned too much toward the demanding,
disciplinarians - even in the privacy of their own home.authoritarian style, then you need to work on the
They make only weak demands for good behaviorwarm, supportive side of parenting. You need to have
and they tend to avoid or ignore obnoxious behavior.more fun with your kids, listen better and dole out
They seem to believe that children should grow upmore praise. If on the other hand, you leaned too much
without any anger, tears or frustrations. They reinforcetoward the permissive style, you need to work on
demanding and inconsiderate behavior from theirestablishing clear rules, setting limits, and confronting
children and often find it easier to just give in to theirobnoxious behavior. Need to modify your parenting
child's demands. Their love and acceptance arestyle? Start today!