| Want to be a better parent? Knowing what your | | | | "unconditional" in the worst sense of the word, for they |
| current parenting style is will help you identify your | | | | set few rules or limits on what their children do. |
| needed areas forimprovement. Promoting the | | | | Research has shown that permissive parents tend to |
| self-discipline and self-esteem of the children in your | | | | produce children who are more immature, demanding |
| family often requires an emotional juggling act by you | | | | and dependent. These children are often rejected by |
| as a parent. It is not easy to be firm and demanding | | | | their peers. Their self-esteem is often unrealistic and |
| with a child one minute, then warm and affectionate | | | | hard to interpret, for they often blame others for their |
| the next. This is an ongoing education process both for | | | | problems and misfortunes. |
| the parent and for the child. In addition, many adults | | | | The Authoritative Parenting Model |
| naturally have personalities or temperaments that | | | | Parents who are able to provide for both the discipline |
| predispose them toward one parenting style or | | | | and self-esteem needs of their youngsters are |
| another. | | | | referred to as authoritative. They clearly communicate |
| Authoritarian Parenting | | | | high-but not unrealistic-demands for their children's |
| Parents who tend to overemphasize the discipline side | | | | behavior. They expect good things from their kids and |
| of the equation are referred to as authoritarian. | | | | reinforce those things when they occur. They also |
| Authoritarian parents are demanding in the worst | | | | tend to give more positive encouragement at the right |
| sense of the word. They are intimidators, requiring | | | | places. When kids act up, on the other hand, |
| obedience and respect above all else. They become | | | | authoritative parents respond with firm limits, but |
| overly angry and forceful when they don't get that | | | | without fits of temper. They are warm, reasonable and |
| obedience and respect. Their love and acceptance | | | | sensitive to a child's needs. They are supportive of a |
| appear totally conditional to the child. They do not | | | | child's individuality and encourage growing |
| teach or listen to their kids or explain the reason for | | | | independence. |
| their expectations, which are frequently unrealistic. | | | | Authoritative parents tend to produce competent |
| They often see their children's individuality and | | | | children. These kids are more self-reliant, self-controlled, |
| independence as irrelevant or threatening. | | | | content and happy. They are usually accepted and |
| Research has shown that authoritarian parents tend to | | | | well-liked by their peers and perform better in school. |
| produce children who are more withdrawn, anxious, | | | | Their self-esteem is good and they report having a |
| mistrustful and discontented. These children are often | | | | happier childhood experience overall. |
| overlooked by their peers. Their self-esteem is often | | | | Where Do You Need Work as a Parent? |
| poor. | | | | Logic and research, then, support the idea that children |
| Permissive Parenting | | | | need both firm discipline and emotional support to grow |
| Parents who overemphasize the self-esteem side of | | | | up psychologically healthy. After reading the |
| the equation are referred to as permissive. They may | | | | descriptions of the parenting styles above, if you found |
| be warm and supportive, but they are not good | | | | that you leaned too much toward the demanding, |
| disciplinarians - even in the privacy of their own home. | | | | authoritarian style, then you need to work on the |
| They make only weak demands for good behavior | | | | warm, supportive side of parenting. You need to have |
| and they tend to avoid or ignore obnoxious behavior. | | | | more fun with your kids, listen better and dole out |
| They seem to believe that children should grow up | | | | more praise. If on the other hand, you leaned too much |
| without any anger, tears or frustrations. They reinforce | | | | toward the permissive style, you need to work on |
| demanding and inconsiderate behavior from their | | | | establishing clear rules, setting limits, and confronting |
| children and often find it easier to just give in to their | | | | obnoxious behavior. Need to modify your parenting |
| child's demands. Their love and acceptance are | | | | style? Start today! |