| Parenting Toddler Biting Question: | | | | changing our reaction to their behavior, we can nudge |
| "Kelly, my 1.5 year old has taken to biting both the dog | | | | them in the right direction and start experiencing the |
| and the baby. I've tried many things and have read | | | | positive change we seek. |
| many parenting books but am still without a solution. | | | | Decide to change your reaction to his biting. Instead of |
| What can I do? I am worried that he will either hurt our | | | | getting upset, raising your voice, threatening or using |
| baby or the dog will hurt him". - Mom Seeking Biting | | | | time-outs, put your emotions on hold and use a neutral |
| Solution | | | | tone. Use the same tone you would with the |
| Parenting Solution to Biting Toddler: | | | | neighborhood grocer (polite but not overly engaged). |
| When your sweet child turns into a household vampire, | | | | Calmly and directly state, "Biting is not allowed." Then |
| many Moms and Dads are unsure of what to do. | | | | quickly hug your child and remove them from the room |
| Biting is common in toddlers-they lack the maturity and | | | | OR remove the baby or dog and go about your |
| the vocabulary to express their frustration. While biting | | | | business. Turn your back on them if need be, but do |
| may be common, it does not mean you need to put up | | | | not become engaged with them (other than the quick |
| with it. There are plenty of ways to make biting less | | | | hug) at this time. |
| appealing to your toddler. | | | | 3. Discourage biting by consistently acting and follow |
| Here are five effective parenting toddler steps that | | | | through: Make certain you are not raising your voice, |
| can help you solve your biting problem once and for all: | | | | lecturing, yelling or biting back in any way. Any |
| 1. Find your toddler's biting payoff: Ask yourself, "Why | | | | aggressiveness on your part will only teach your |
| is my child biting?" For every negative misbehavior | | | | toddler that his behavior is appropriate. Each time he |
| there is a powerful purpose-a pay-off for children. Find | | | | bites respond in the nonchalant manner recommended |
| your child's pay-off and you will be pointed in the | | | | in step two-follow through each and every time. |
| direction of the solution. | | | | 4. Prevent biting behavior by giving your child what |
| My educated guess is that the biggest reward for | | | | they really want and need: A little of your positive |
| your toddler's biting is your attention! With a new baby | | | | attention can go a long way. With the demands of a |
| needing and demanding so much of your attention | | | | new baby, it can be next to impossible to carve out |
| (especially if you are breast feeding every couple of | | | | extra time to spend 1-on-1 with your toddler. Yet, if you |
| hours) your oldest, now has to share your | | | | don't give it to him, he will continue to demand it with |
| attention-something he never had to do before. A new | | | | negative behavior. Elicit the help of your husband, |
| sibling's arrival heralds a new era for your toddler-an | | | | family, friends or even a nanny or babysitter to spend |
| era in which the sun no longer rises and sets around | | | | time with the baby so you can spend a little more |
| him. This major life transition requires quite an | | | | happy play time with your toddler. |
| adjustment from your first-born, who was used to | | | | 5. Notice when your toddler is doing well: I've saved the |
| having all your attention to himself. | | | | most powerful parenting toddler tip for last. When you |
| When children aren't able to get enough of their | | | | see your toddler being gentle with the baby and dog, |
| parents' attention positively, they will settle for negative | | | | notice this by saying something like, "Look at how the |
| attention. Why? Because some attention is always | | | | baby loves to be touched by you when you are |
| better than none. So, biting is a powerful hook to take | | | | gentle. She is lucky to have a big brother like you." |
| your attention away from the baby and bring it back | | | | Biting is an unfortunate solution many toddlers have |
| to your toddler. | | | | found to coerce their parents into giving them attention. |
| 2. Remove the parenting toddler hook: As parents we | | | | If parents change their tune by not giving much |
| can never truly change our child's behavior. We can | | | | attention when toddlers demand it, instead giving their |
| influence it-but 'make' them do exactly what we want | | | | attention when their child is doing things they |
| them to do, when we want them to do it-no. Children | | | | appreciate, they will soon find that biting is reserved for |
| only change when they ultimately understand the | | | | favorite crackers and food only! |
| benefit of the change. The good news is that by | | | | |