| These are the first 5 of 10 Effective | | | | really there. You are a guide and an anchor. |
| Parenting Tips - look for the next 5 in our | | | | Know that you are a teacher, that you are a |
| next article. | | | | role model. That's how you will have the |
| | | | greatest impact on your children. Parenting |
| Your kids deserve your very best all the | | | | is about the millions of "small things" and |
| time. You've only got one chance to mold | | | | not about big events or sounding great when |
| them into the kind of adult who is | | | | you talk about them. It's about the quiet |
| productive, thoughtful, enthusiastic, | | | | times and the little things. |
| visionary and hardworking. You won't always | | | | |
| feel good about doing what is necessary, but | | | | 4. Listen To Them. You'll Be Amazed. One |
| remembering that you've only got one chance | | | | of the most important things you can do to |
| to get it right for them will help you do | | | | fully be with your children is to listen to |
| what you need to do. Here are five effective | | | | them with full attention. When that little |
| parenting tips to help you: | | | | voice in your head is rattling on incessantly |
| | | | about the past or the future, or coming up |
| 1. There Is No Tomorrow. You've only got | | | | with an answer to what you think they're |
| right now, today, to do the right thing and | | | | saying, you're not really hearing what they |
| to be there emotionally for your children.. | | | | say. If you're not present with your |
| Once this "right now" is gone, it's gone | | | | children, they know it. What is the message |
| forever. Decide that you will make the most | | | | you're telling them if you're not present? |
| of every single moment as often as possible. | | | | They're not worthy? They're not important? |
| Decide that you will give them your complete | | | | They're not valuable? Stop. Look. Listen. |
| attention even if it means setting your stuff | | | | That means stop what you're doing, stop |
| aside. Of course you won't be at the 100% | | | | watching the T.V., stop reading the paper, |
| level. No one is. But if you decide in this | | | | stop thinking about other things. Look. Look |
| right now moment to utilize as many of the | | | | into their eyes, you're less likely to be |
| following right now moments with your kid's | | | | distracted when you're looking into their |
| benefit held at the forefront, they will | | | | eyes. Listen. Don't let that voice in your |
| benefit from your decision. | | | | head drown them out. Sometimes to make sure |
| | | | I'm listening, I will repeat in my head what |
| 2. Begin With The End In Mind. It won't do | | | | they're saying. |
| any good when your child is eighteen years | | | | |
| old to look back and wish you'd done things | | | | 5. Control Your Emotions. Don't yell at |
| differently. Right now is when you get to | | | | your children. If you yell at children, they |
| make the decisions that will affect his | | | | do not hear you. Instead, you're simply |
| getting to eighteen. Think through what | | | | upsetting them. That doesn't mean if you've |
| you'd like that to be and then think about | | | | yelled at your children, you're going to |
| how you'll have to "be" in the intervening | | | | destroy their psyche. Remember, take the long |
| years to help your child accomplish that. Be | | | | view. We're building a foundation one brick |
| sure to listen to what your child says he | | | | at a time. None of us is perfect. Yelling at |
| wants and weave that into the plan. Help | | | | your children and upsetting them once will |
| your child become an achiever. Your primary | | | | have no effect on them. Yelling at them the |
| goal as a parent is to give your children the | | | | entire time they grow up, well.....let's hope |
| tools that they can use to lead happy, | | | | that somehow children who have to deal with |
| healthy and successful lives. That's all that | | | | that eventually learn how to overcome it. |
| matters. That is your magnificent obsession. | | | | Most of us fall somewhere in the middle. The |
| Remind yourself each day of the goal you're | | | | point here is that it's not effective. It's |
| working towards and remind yourself that it | | | | not promoting your magnificent obsession. See |
| doesn't happen in a single day. | | | | if you can pinpoint what kicks off that |
| | | | emotion. It's not your children. Keep in mind |
| 3. Your Influence Is Greatest Every Day. | | | | your goal of being a great parent and then |
| Teaching is what you do every time you | | | | create a disconnect. Emotions aren't a bad |
| interact with your children. And it always | | | | thing. The problem is that we have triggers |
| happens today. There isn't a moment when you | | | | that release our emotions without thinking. |
| are not teaching your children - if you're | | | | |
| helping with schoolwork, watching their team | | | | If you use these effective parenting tips, |
| sports or just sitting down to the family | | | | you'll be on your way to a healthy and |
| meals. It doesn't matter if you're having | | | | happier relationship with your children. Look |
| dinner in your kitchen or if you're a | | | | for five more tips in our next installment in |
| part-time parent who is having dinner at | | | | this series. |
| McDonald's. What matters is that you're | | | | |