| These are the first 5 of 10 Effective Parenting Tips - | | | | guide and an anchor. Know that you are a teacher, |
| look for the next 5 in our next article. | | | | that you are a role model. That's how you will have |
| Your kids deserve your very best all the time. You've | | | | the greatest impact on your children. Parenting is about |
| only got one chance to mold them into the kind of adult | | | | the millions of "small things" and not about big events or |
| who is productive, thoughtful, enthusiastic, visionary and | | | | sounding great when you talk about them. It's about |
| hardworking. You won't always feel good about doing | | | | the quiet times and the little things. |
| what is necessary, but remembering that you've only | | | | 4. Listen To Them. You'll Be Amazed. One of the |
| got one chance to get it right for them will help you do | | | | most important things you can do to fully be with your |
| what you need to do. Here are five effective | | | | children is to listen to them with full attention. When that |
| parenting tips to help you: | | | | little voice in your head is rattling on incessantly about |
| 1. There Is No Tomorrow. You've only got right now, | | | | the past or the future, or coming up with an answer to |
| today, to do the right thing and to be there emotionally | | | | what you think they're saying, you're not really hearing |
| for your children.. Once this "right now" is gone, it's gone | | | | what they say. If you're not present with your children, |
| forever. Decide that you will make the most of every | | | | they know it. What is the message you're telling them |
| single moment as often as possible. Decide that you | | | | if you're not present? They're not worthy? They're not |
| will give them your complete attention even if it means | | | | important? They're not valuable? Stop. Look. Listen. |
| setting your stuff aside. Of course you won't be at the | | | | That means stop what you're doing, stop watching the |
| 100% level. No one is. But if you decide in this right now | | | | T.V., stop reading the paper, stop thinking about other |
| moment to utilize as many of the following right now | | | | things. Look. Look into their eyes, you're less likely to be |
| moments with your kid's benefit held at the forefront, | | | | distracted when you're looking into their eyes. Listen. |
| they will benefit from your decision. | | | | Don't let that voice in your head drown them out. |
| 2. Begin With The End In Mind. It won't do any good | | | | Sometimes to make sure I'm listening, I will repeat in my |
| when your child is eighteen years old to look back and | | | | head what they're saying. |
| wish you'd done things differently. Right now is when | | | | 5. Control Your Emotions. Don't yell at your children. If |
| you get to make the decisions that will affect his | | | | you yell at children, they do not hear you. Instead, |
| getting to eighteen. Think through what you'd like that | | | | you're simply upsetting them. That doesn't mean if |
| to be and then think about how you'll have to "be" in | | | | you've yelled at your children, you're going to destroy |
| the intervening years to help your child accomplish that. | | | | their psyche. Remember, take the long view. We're |
| Be sure to listen to what your child says he wants and | | | | building a foundation one brick at a time. None of us is |
| weave that into the plan. Help your child become an | | | | perfect. Yelling at your children and upsetting them |
| achiever. Your primary goal as a parent is to give your | | | | once will have no effect on them. Yelling at them the |
| children the tools that they can use to lead happy, | | | | entire time they grow up, well.....let's hope that |
| healthy and successful lives. That's all that matters. | | | | somehow children who have to deal with that |
| That is your magnificent obsession. Remind yourself | | | | eventually learn how to overcome it. Most of us fall |
| each day of the goal you're working towards and | | | | somewhere in the middle. The point here is that it's not |
| remind yourself that it doesn't happen in a single day. | | | | effective. It's not promoting your magnificent obsession. |
| 3. Your Influence Is Greatest Every Day. Teaching is | | | | See if you can pinpoint what kicks off that emotion. It's |
| what you do every time you interact with your children. | | | | not your children. Keep in mind your goal of being a |
| And it always happens today. There isn't a moment | | | | great parent and then create a disconnect. Emotions |
| when you are not teaching your children - if you're | | | | aren't a bad thing. The problem is that we have |
| helping with schoolwork, watching their team sports or | | | | triggers that release our emotions without thinking. |
| just sitting down to the family meals. It doesn't matter if | | | | If you use these effective parenting tips, you'll be on |
| you're having dinner in your kitchen or if you're a | | | | your way to a healthy and happier relationship with |
| part-time parent who is having dinner at McDonald's. | | | | your children. Look for five more tips in our next |
| What matters is that you're really there. You are a | | | | installment in this series. |