Advice-Family Relationship Tips

A wise elderly man once gave me important advice:two times that they even had different opinions on
family relationships between siblings begin with thethings that went on in the house. A few hours later an
parents.old friend of mine who lived in my house for a few
Let me explain. I grew up in New England with fouryears while in high school (his parents moved abroad)
siblings. Today this family of five, are all married, havecame by to offer his condolences. We asked him the
children and even grandchildren and are spread oversame question and he laughed and answered, "I don't
three continents; two stayed in North America, I andremember any time, but I'm sure they did. How can a
one sister live in the Middle East, and my baby sistermarried couple not argue with each other?!"
lives in South Africa. Despite our geographicalThis is the reason that me and my siblings are so
distances we all keep in touch. We all know what isclose despite our geographical distance and age
doing with each other's children and grandchildren (anddifferences. My parents were such role models for
there are a lot of them!) and we frequently speak tocloseness that, almost like osmosis, we learnt to
each other on the phone. We also attend our niecesbecame close.
and nephews weddings when it is possible.Here are a few tips on how to get the message of
(International flights are not cheap!)family closeness to your children:
I used to wonder how did we become so close ? We1. Never discuss "heated" family issues in front of
weren't particularly nice to each other when we werechildren. Discuss the issues when they are not around
growing up; we were just average kids who fight andand present only your joint conclusion to them.
bicker. And more than this, my youngest sister is2. Never make fun of your spouse, even jokingly,
twelve years younger than my older brother and theywhen the children are around
didn't really even grow up with each other, and they3. Show how you are concerned for your spouse in
are also very close! How did this closeness happen?front of the children.
I discovered the answer in January 2001 right after myImagine for a minute how never arguing or disagreeing
father passed away. We were sitting in my mother'swith your spouse in front of the children will affect your
house reminiscing old times and someone asked ifchildren and empower them to be close with one and
anyone ever saw Daddy and Mommy fighting orother, their spouses, and their children for years and
arguing with each other. None of us remembered anyyears to come.
time that they fought and we only remembered one or