| A wise elderly man once gave me important advice: | | | | two times that they even had different opinions on |
| family relationships between siblings begin with the | | | | things that went on in the house. A few hours later an |
| parents. | | | | old friend of mine who lived in my house for a few |
| Let me explain. I grew up in New England with four | | | | years while in high school (his parents moved abroad) |
| siblings. Today this family of five, are all married, have | | | | came by to offer his condolences. We asked him the |
| children and even grandchildren and are spread over | | | | same question and he laughed and answered, "I don't |
| three continents; two stayed in North America, I and | | | | remember any time, but I'm sure they did. How can a |
| one sister live in the Middle East, and my baby sister | | | | married couple not argue with each other?!" |
| lives in South Africa. Despite our geographical | | | | This is the reason that me and my siblings are so |
| distances we all keep in touch. We all know what is | | | | close despite our geographical distance and age |
| doing with each other's children and grandchildren (and | | | | differences. My parents were such role models for |
| there are a lot of them!) and we frequently speak to | | | | closeness that, almost like osmosis, we learnt to |
| each other on the phone. We also attend our nieces | | | | became close. |
| and nephews weddings when it is possible. | | | | Here are a few tips on how to get the message of |
| (International flights are not cheap!) | | | | family closeness to your children: |
| I used to wonder how did we become so close ? We | | | | 1. Never discuss "heated" family issues in front of |
| weren't particularly nice to each other when we were | | | | children. Discuss the issues when they are not around |
| growing up; we were just average kids who fight and | | | | and present only your joint conclusion to them. |
| bicker. And more than this, my youngest sister is | | | | 2. Never make fun of your spouse, even jokingly, |
| twelve years younger than my older brother and they | | | | when the children are around |
| didn't really even grow up with each other, and they | | | | 3. Show how you are concerned for your spouse in |
| are also very close! How did this closeness happen? | | | | front of the children. |
| I discovered the answer in January 2001 right after my | | | | Imagine for a minute how never arguing or disagreeing |
| father passed away. We were sitting in my mother's | | | | with your spouse in front of the children will affect your |
| house reminiscing old times and someone asked if | | | | children and empower them to be close with one and |
| anyone ever saw Daddy and Mommy fighting or | | | | other, their spouses, and their children for years and |
| arguing with each other. None of us remembered any | | | | years to come. |
| time that they fought and we only remembered one or | | | | |