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Article #445: Advice-Family Relationship Tips

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A wise elderly man once gave me important fought and we only remembered one or two
advice: family relationships between times that they even had different
siblings begin with the parents. opinions on things that went on in the
Let me explain. I grew up in New England house. A few hours later an old friend of
with four siblings. Today this family of mine who lived in my house for a few
five, are all married, have children and years while in high school (his parents
even grandchildren and are spread over moved abroad) came by to offer his
three continents; two stayed in North condolences. We asked him the same
America, I and one sister live in the question and he laughed and answered, "I
Middle East, and my baby sister lives in don't remember any time, but I'm sure
South Africa. Despite our geographical they did. How can a married couple not
distances we all keep in touch. We all argue with each other?!"
know what is doing with each other's This is the reason that me and my
children and grandchildren (and there are siblings are so close despite our
a lot of them!) and we frequently speak geographical distance and age
to each other on the phone. We also differences. My parents were such role
attend our nieces and nephews weddings models for closeness that, almost like
when it is possible. (International osmosis, we learnt to became close.
flights are not cheap!) Here are a few tips on how to get the
I used to wonder how did we become so message of family closeness to your
close ? We weren't particularly nice to children:
each other when we were growing up; we 1. Never discuss "heated" family issues
were just average kids who fight and in front of children. Discuss the issues
bicker. And more than this, my youngest when they are not around and present only
sister is twelve years younger than my your joint conclusion to them.
older brother and they didn't really even 2. Never make fun of your spouse, even
grow up with each other, and they are jokingly, when the children are around
also very close! How did this closeness 3. Show how you are concerned for your
happen? spouse in front of the children.
I discovered the answer in January 2001 Imagine for a minute how never arguing or
right after my father passed away. We disagreeing with your spouse in front of
were sitting in my mother's house the children will affect your children
reminiscing old times and someone asked and empower them to be close with one
if anyone ever saw Daddy and Mommy and other, their spouses, and their
fighting or arguing with each other. children for years and years to come.
None of us remembered any time that they






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