| A wise elderly man once gave me important | | | | or two times that they even had different |
| advice: family relationships between siblings | | | | opinions on things that went on in the house. |
| begin with the parents. | | | | A few hours later an old friend of mine who |
| | | | lived in my house for a few years while in |
| Let me explain. I grew up in New England with | | | | high school (his parents moved abroad) came |
| four siblings. Today this family of five, are | | | | by to offer his condolences. We asked him the |
| all married, have children and even | | | | same question and he laughed and answered, "I |
| grandchildren and are spread over three | | | | don't remember any time, but I'm sure they |
| continents; two stayed in North America, I | | | | did. How can a married couple not argue with |
| and one sister live in the Middle East, and | | | | each other?!" |
| my baby sister lives in South Africa. Despite | | | | |
| our geographical distances we all keep in | | | | This is the reason that me and my siblings |
| touch. We all know what is doing with each | | | | are so close despite our geographical |
| other's children and grandchildren (and there | | | | distance and age differences. My parents were |
| are a lot of them!) and we frequently speak | | | | such role models for closeness that, almost |
| to each other on the phone. We also attend | | | | like osmosis, we learnt to became close. |
| our nieces and nephews weddings when it is | | | | |
| possible. (International flights are not | | | | Here are a few tips on how to get the message |
| cheap!) | | | | of family closeness to your children: |
| | | | |
| I used to wonder how did we become so close ? | | | | 1. Never discuss "heated" family issues in |
| We weren't particularly nice to each other | | | | front of children. Discuss the issues when |
| when we were growing up; we were just average | | | | they are not around and present only your |
| kids who fight and bicker. And more than | | | | joint conclusion to them. |
| this, my youngest sister is twelve years | | | | |
| younger than my older brother and they didn't | | | | 2. Never make fun of your spouse, even |
| really even grow up with each other, and they | | | | jokingly, when the children are around |
| are also very close! How did this closeness | | | | |
| happen? | | | | 3. Show how you are concerned for your spouse |
| | | | in front of the children. |
| I discovered the answer in January 2001 | | | | |
| right after my father passed away. We were | | | | Imagine for a minute how never arguing or |
| sitting in my mother's house reminiscing old | | | | disagreeing with your spouse in front of the |
| times and someone asked if anyone ever saw | | | | children will affect your children and |
| Daddy and Mommy fighting or arguing with | | | | empower them to be close with one and other, |
| each other. None of us remembered any time | | | | their spouses, and their children for years |
| that they fought and we only remembered one | | | | and years to come. |