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Teaching your children responsability

Our children deserve to learn importantfor a family member who is sick, are
lessons from us and to acquire importantchosen freely. And it includes tolerance
habits with our help. They need help infor people who do not share our beliefs
learning what matters to us. We want ouror likes or dislikes, as long as they do
children to grow up to be responsiblenot harm others.
adults. We want them to learn to feel,These habits are especially important
think, and act with respect forbecause many of the wrongs people commit
themselves and for other people. We wantresult from indifference to the
them to pursue their own well-being,suffering they cause.
while also being considerate of theHonesty
needs and feelings of others.Honesty means telling the truth. It
Today, there is wide recognition thatmeans not misleading others for our own
many of our children are not learning tobenefit. It also means trying to make
act responsibly while they are young.decisions, especially important ones, on
Studies show that many children seethe basis of evidence rather than
nothing wrong with cheating on tests.prejudice. Honesty includes dealing with
Some see nothing wrong with takingother people and being honest with
things that don't belong to them.ourselves.
If proper attitudes and behavior are notTo understand the importance of being
learned early, problems can mushroomtruthful to others, our children need to
with even worse consequences whenlearn that living together depends on
children are older. As crime hastrust. Without honesty, trusting each
increased, teen-age offenders have shownother becomes impossible.
less and less feeling for their victims.Honesty with ourselves involves faring
But even for the youngsters who willup to our own mistakes and biases, even
never commit a crime, it is better towhen we have to admit them to others. It
learn responsibility when they areincludes self-criticism. The point is to
young, rather than when they are olderlearn from our errors and to do our best
and they have to change bad habits.to correct them, not to dwell on them.
Many parents will also want to shareCourage
with their children deeply heldCourage is taking a position and doing
religious and moral convictions as awhat is right, even at the risk of some
foundation for ethical behavior. Thisloss. It means being neither reckless
booklet discusses habits of fairness,nor cowardly, but faring up to our
respect, courage, honesty, andduties. It includes physical courage,
compassion that responsible peopleintellectual courage to make decisions
share, and it can be used by parentson the basis of evidence, and moral
with different beliefs.courage to stand up for our principles.
As parents, we can give our children theCourage does not mean never being
best in us by helping them acquireafraid. It can involve trying to
habits and character traits that theyovercome our fears, such as a fear of
can rely on in their own lives. If wethe dark. But our children also need to
help them lean to take pleasure inlearn that sometimes it is all right to
thinking and behaving well, they willbe afraid.
have the best chance to lead good livesDaddy, a man showed us money by the
as individuals and as citizens in theschool playground today.
community. This will be true no matterWhat did you do?
what unpleasant situations or badWe ran for the teacher.
influences they come across.Why did you do that?
What Do We Mean by Responsibility?We were scared. You and Mommy and our
None of us is born acting responsibly. Ateacher Mrs. Jones said never take
responsible character is formed overanything from grownups we don't know.
time. It is made up of our outlook andRun away. Go and tell somebody we know.
daily habits associated with feelings,Good for you. It was right to be scared.
thoughts, and actions. ResponsibleLots of people are nice, but some are
people act the way they should whethervery mean. They can hurt you. The mean
or not anyone is watching. They do soones sometimes try to fool people by
because they understand that it's rightpretending to be nice. Now, tell me,
and because they have the courage andwhat did the man look like?
self-control to act decently, even whenCourage becomes especially important by
tempted to do otherwise.the time children become teenagers. They
We want our children to appreciate theoften have to stand up against peer
importance of being responsible. We alsopressure to do the wrong thing, such as
want them to develop the habits andusing drugs.
strength to act this way in theirSelf-Control
everyday lives. Learning to beSelf-control is the ability to resist
responsible includes learning toinappropriate behavior in order to act
* respect and show compassion forresponsibly. It relates to all of the
others;different aspects of responsibility
* practice honesty as a matter ofmentioned so far, including respect and
course;compassion for others, honesty, and
* show courage in standing up for ourcourage. It involves persistence and
principles;sticking to long-term commitments. It
* develop self-control in acting on ouralso includes dealing effectively with
principles;emotions, such as anger, and developing
* maintain self-respect.patience.
Respect and Compassion for OthersSelf-Respect
As part of being responsible, childrenPeople with self-respect take
need to respect and show concern for thesatisfaction in appropriate behavior and
well-being of other people. Respecthard-won accomplishments. They don't
ranges from using basic manners toneed to put others down or have a lot of
having compassion for the suffering ofmoney in order to respect themselves.
others. Compassion is developed byPeople who respect themselves also view
trying to see things from the point ofselfishness, loss of self-control,
view of others, and learning that theirrecklessness, cowardice, and dishonesty
feelings resemble our own.as wrong and unworthy of them. As they
Daddy, why was Grandma crying?mature, if they have learned the lessons
She is very sad. One of her closestof responsibility, they will develop a
friends just died. Come and sit with me.good conscience to guide them.
Do you remember how you felt when yourIn addition, people who respect
gerbil, Whiskers, died?themselves respect their own health and
I felt sad and lonely.safety. Similarly, they are unwilling to
I'm sure Grandma feels that way, too.be manipulated by others. Patience or
Maybe you can think of a way to helptolerance does not mean allowing others
her.to mistreat us.
I could give her a hug...While we help children have high
That's a great idea! I'm really glad youstandards for themselves, we also need
thought of it.to let them know that failure is no
Respect for others also includes theembarrassment when we have done our
habit of treating people fairly asbest. For example, losing a game when we
individuals, regardless of race, sex, orhave played our best, and our opponents
ethnic group. As we mature, respecthave simply played better, is no
includes realizing that not all ourdisgrace.
obligations to others, such as caring



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